3 Lessons on Reaching Your Goals from The Vow

February 16, 2012 by • Life at Warp 10, Marcy's Blog • Tags: , , , , , , , • 30 Comments

The VowBecause I couldn’t stand to see Jar-Jar Binks in 3D, when my husband and I went to the movies over the weekend for an early Valentine’s Day date, we ended up seeing The Vow, starring Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. Basically, a woman is in a car accident and loses her memories of the last five to six years of her life. Her husband tries to convince her to fall in love with him again. The Vow was inspired by the true story of Kim and Krickitt Carpenter.

While I’d rate the movie itself as mediocre, I left the theater thinking about what it would be like if that happened to me. Where was I six years ago, back in 2006?

Don’t underestimate how far you’ve come.

Sometimes all I can see is how far I still have to go to get to where I want to be. I had plans for what I wanted my life to be like when I reached 30, and I’m not there. Nowhere close. Last week that gap hit me especially hard. I started to feel like a failure and began to question every decision I’ve made.

But when I look back to 2006, it’s how far I’ve come that jumps out at me.

In 2006, I was single. I hadn’t even met my husband yet. Worse, I was still trying to fit into what people expected me to be or wanted me to be rather than giving myself the freedom to just be me. Now I’m happily married to a man who’s my best friend, who knows and loves the real me.

In February 2006, I still hadn’t had so much as an article published, and I was mired in trying to fix the same novel I’d been working on for five years. It would never be publishable, but I couldn’t see it then. Now I make my living from writing articles and editing.

In 2006, I didn’t have a blog or a website. I wasn’t on any social media sites. Now all those things are part of my life, a part that makes it much richer and more enjoyable.

When you start to feel like you’ve lost your way, screwed up your life, or are a failure, take a look back. Where were you five years ago?

If you miss something you used to have, get it back.

Rachel McAdams’ character, Paige, goes back to a time before she became estranged from her family. Even though she finds that some of the changes she made in her missing years were the right ones for her, losing her family wasn’t. She has to find a way to keep the good changes and rid herself of the bad.

Not everything is better in my life either. Just as Paige was aghast to discover she had a tattoo on her back, if I woke up with the last six years missing, I’d be horrified at the weight I’ve gained. It’s not simply vanity weight. I need to lose at least 20 pounds to be healthy. And I miss being lighter. I slept better, felt better, and had fewer back problems when I weighed less. It’s something I’ll be working on.

Just because the time isn’t right now doesn’t mean it won’t ever be right.

Considering The Vow was a romance and based on a true story, I don’t think I’m giving anything away with this point. Channing Tatum’s character Leo works for months to win his wife back. He tries introducing her to their friends to jog her memory, and he takes her out on a date. Nothing he tries works.

Finally he backs off and gives her the divorce she wants. And then he waits. Eventually, even though she never regains her memory, she comes back to him, and the movie ends on a note of hope for their future.

It’s too easy to give up on our dreams and goals if we don’t reach them in our timing. Human beings are notoriously impatient. Sometimes, though, a failure just means the timing isn’t right. We should wait, bide our time, and see what happens.

Where were you five years ago? Have you made progress toward your long-term goals, or are there things you miss that you want to get back?

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