6 Grammar Mistakes That Will Cost You Readers
Make these mistakes in a query letter, and your work might never see publication. Make these mistakes in a blog often enough, and your readers will find another similar blog that doesn’t make them cringe.
Mistake #1: Your/You’re
This mistake is why I can only take Facebook in small doses some days.
Add to the list it’s/its.
Please also add their/there/they’re.
This is a ridiculously simple mistake to avoid. Just stop and ask whether your sentence requires a possessive or a contraction.
Your is possessive, implying ownership: “I love your blog.”
You’re is a contraction of you are. The apostrophe indicates that you and are smashed together to make them shorter and smoother to say: “You’re giving me a headache with all this grammar talk.”
Their = possessive
There = a place (“I’ve been there”) or a pronoun (“There is no way I’m jumping off that cliff.”)
They’re = they are
It’s = it is (or it has)
Its = possessive
Mistake #2: Leaving Out a Serial Comma
A serial comma involves placing a comma after every item in a series: “I love eating jelly beans, chocolate, and cranberries.”
You could write this without the serial comma: “I love eating jelly beans, chocolate and cranberries.”
Serial commas aren’t mandatory, but they are recommended by most major style guides for a very simple reason—they eliminate the risk of being unintentionally funny.
“A housewife’s job involves more than cleaning, cooking and birthing babies.”
Is it just me, or does that sound like she’s serving up roast baby for dinner?
But add a serial comma and we have “A housewife’s job involves more than cleaning, cooking, and birthing babies.” Now we have a clear tribute to mothers rather than cannibalism.
The only thing worse than being boring is being unintentionally funny. Once people laugh at you, that’s all they’re going to remember about your post. At least if you’re boring, they forget about you.
I live by the better safe than sorry rule. If I always use a serial comma, I never run the risk of leaving it out when I should have put it in.
Mistake #3: Could of, Should of, Would of
“I could of finished that 10 oz. steak if I wanted to, but I’m watching my waistline.”
This mistake crops up when people write the same way they speak. When we speak, we often slur could’ve (the contraction of could have) so that it sounds like could of.
Of can be used correctly in many different ways. This isn’t one of them. You might be able to get away with it in speech, but not in your writing.
Mistake #4: To/Too/Two
I know. This one just seems like the first English speakers were being mean. Not only do these all sound the same, but they’re only one letter different from each other.
Two is a number: “If you already have one chocolate bar and I give you mine, then you have two chocolate bars and I’m going to be asking you to share.” Hold up two fingers. They form half a W. To and too don’t have that shape in them. They are not numbers. If that doesn’t work for you, remember that two (as a number) starts the same way as twins.
Too is an adverb expressing the idea of “excessively,” “also,” or “as well”: “This word has one too many o‘s in it.”
To is a preposition. It’s used to begin a prepositional phrase or an infinitive. The best way to remember to is to place it where neither two nor too will work.
“I went to church on Sunday.” (preposition)
“I want to eat your chocolate.” (infinitive)
Mistake #5: Lack of Parallelism in Lists
Parallelism in a list makes your sentences easier for your reader to understand.
“To contribute to Easter dinner, I peeled two potatoes, three yams, and baked a pie.”
Your reader will understand this sentence, but it will feel awkward. And grammar Nazis will snicker at you behind their hands.
Take the sentence apart, and you’ll see the problem.
To contribute to Easter dinner, I . . .
- peeled two potatoes
- three yams
- baked a pie.
You wouldn’t say, “To contribute to Easter dinner, I two yams.” At least I hope you wouldn’t. You need to add a verb in front of “three yams” to make this sentence parallel. “Peeled,” “washed,” “chopped,” or “mashed” would all be correct.
Mistake #6: Dangling Participles
A dangling participle is a word or phrase that’s placed so it modifies the wrong thing. This is another one where your readers will find you extremely funny for all the wrong reasons.
“Walking down the road, the house came into view.”
A house taking a walk? I’d buy tickets to see that.
“Featuring an ensuite hot tub and extra fluffy pillows, we highly recommend this hotel for honeymooning couples.”
The mental image of people with hot tubs where their bellies should be and pillows for arms . . . I probably won’t stop laughing long enough to read the rest of what you’ve written.
“After rotting in the back of the fridge for three months, my husband cleaned out his forgotten leftovers.”
Based on this sentence, I need to take my husband to a doctor to find out why he’s rotting.
What are some grammar gaffes that drive you nuts?
Interested in more ways to improve your writing? Grammar for Fiction Writers is now available from Amazon, Kobo, or Smashwords. (You might also be interested in checking out Showing and Telling in Fiction
or Dialogue: A Busy Writer’s Guide
.)
All three books are available in print and ebook forms.
(This was a replay of a post I wrote originally for Girls With Pens and which first appeared on May 9, 2011. Because it’s still one of my favorites, I decided to share it with you here today.)
Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:06:09
Fantastic post, Marcy. I have to admit, the you’re/your mistake might lead me away from a person’s blog or have me taking it less seriously. I like your point at the top—grammatical perfection is vital in query letters and ideal, though there’s more forgiveness, in blog posts.
The serial commas thing gets confusing for me, since most of my journalism clients advise against it by the belief that the and fulfills the comma’s role. For fiction, it seems to vary with the editor/agent, etc. I aim for consistency (I’m using to skipping it) and make a point of checking in with publications and editors before writing or revising.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:17:56
Indeed 🙂 There is a difference I find between what you can get away with in a blog vs. something more formal. In a blog, we’re all going to have a typo or mistake once in awhile because we don’t always have time for edits before it goes live. With something like a query, article, or manuscript, readers expect a higher level of polish.
I admit I fell in love with the serial comma because of my academic background (and because as an editor I see so many people say funny or confusing things without meaning to). Most newspapers don’t use the serial comma.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:08:28
Great advice! The one that always gets under my skin is myriad. When I see people use it with a and of, as in a myriad of, I usually stop reading. It just peeves me when people use it incorrectly. Kind of like double negetives, it makes my stomach hurt.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:20:12
Double negatives are one of my husband’s biggest pet peeves too 🙂
Feb 06, 2012 @ 09:22:58
Great post!
Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:20:24
Thanks 🙂
Feb 06, 2012 @ 10:28:22
Love this post!
I never fail to shudder at misplaced quotation marks. For example:
Get “fit” this “summer”!
or
We make the “best” pizza!
*shudder*
Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:21:46
You made my laugh over the “best” pizza. What they’re really saying is that their pizza isn’t the best.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 11:32:06
I *cringe* when I see these errors, even if they are only on Facebook. I remember teaching about your/you’re and their/there/they’re in third grade. Occasional mistakes, okay. But consistent misuse of these basic words points out a lack of attention and/or a poor education.
And I personally love correctly-written parallel structure with the serial comma. This is such a smart tool for an effective writer. I wish journalists would adopt the serial comma and get over this issue.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:42:00
A woman after my own heart. I have certain clients who don’t use the serial comma, and I leave it out for them, but I miss it.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 12:44:56
Voice recognition software and auto-correct create some terrible gaffes that make me cringe — when they happen to me, especially. “Then/than,” “affect/effect,” and all those misplaced “its/it’s” are maddening!
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:43:04
I haven’t tried voice recognition software, but I can see how that would be an issue to deal with when the words are so similar. Computers aren’t smart enough yet to be able to tell the difference (as Word’s grammar check proves).
Feb 06, 2012 @ 13:23:34
I also have an issue with serial/Oxford comma. I used to put them in, but the publisher who did my first book took them out. So now I leave them out. Guess it depends on which style manual is being used.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:44:15
It can get tricky. If you know your publisher doesn’t use them, then it’s best to leave them out, and you just have to check your sentences carefully to be sure you’re not adding in anything that will be unintentionally funny.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 14:06:36
Their, they’re and there – definitely one of my pet peeves.
Also split infinitives – “She decided to never go there again” – no-no! Even ‘to boldly go’ – noooo!
And how about ‘she was sat’ or ‘he was stood’ – eek!
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:45:01
“She was sat” – that makes me want to cover my eyes and turn away.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 14:13:42
Great grammar reminders! It’s funny–I know my homophones, but sometimes I’ll be revising something I wrote and find a you’re instead of your. It drives me crazy! I know better, but somehow when I am in the zone and writing, I mangle homophones anyway. 🙁
Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
Feb 06, 2012 @ 16:53:44
Angela, me too!
I touch type and found they’re instead of their, you’re instead of your and it drives me nuts because I know better too. Thankfully never in a wip! But I do find them in blog posts always AFTER I’ve posted.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:46:07
I’ve found some really awful mistakes in my drafts too, especially when I’m writing tired. I’ve learned never to send a professional email after 10 pm, or I’ll regret it when I read it over in the morning.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 20:17:09
Fantastic reminders, Marcy. I’m going to have to circulate this list to my undergrads, since they’ve been making many of these errors. I’ve also noticed that they seem to be either allergic to apostrophes, or obsessed with plurals of things that should really be possessive (“societies ills” vs. “society’s ills”, etc.). Drives me absolutely nuts when I’m grading papers.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:48:05
Plurals that should be possessives are definitely another bane of my existence. I find them the other way around too.
Feb 06, 2012 @ 21:25:09
These are great reminders, Marcy. One of my pet peeves is quotation marks after a period, but I learned that it’s proper punctuation in England. Strunk & White teaches that quotation marks go outside the period. It seems to be a very common mistake that agents, editors, and many writers make. So common that I guess it’s becoming acceptable?
Feb 06, 2012 @ 21:27:38
That comment should read “quotation marks before a period,” not “after a period.” Sheesh!
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:51:51
Quotation mark placement with punctuation is actually a tricky one. British (and sometimes even Canadian) style guides want the punctuation outside the quotation mark, while American wants it inside.
Also, different style guides will handle the placement differently if you’re using the quotation marks to quote something someone else has written rather than using it for dialogue. For example, some style guides that normally place quote marks outside punctuation will have it inside if the question mark you want to add wasn’t part of the original quote.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 17:03:08
Yes, quotation marks are tricky, especially because different countries vary. Ellipses are tricky, too. I see a lot of variations.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 10:41:17
I can read my stuff a hundred times and later, much later, I will find some gaff standing up and screaming, “For God’s sake. Please edit me!”
If you ever see any of those stinkers in mine, PLEASE feel free to tweet me!
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:52:50
Haha. I feel the same way. If there’s a mistake, I want to know so I can fix it. I did have to clarify for my husband though that I want him to tell me privately, rather than drawing everyone’s attention to it 😛
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:08:57
Those are all great to watch out for! Love the post.
The ones that drive me crazy are: 1,3,4
#6 is hilarious the way you wrote it, lol.
Another one that drives me bananas is:
their/they’re/there
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:53:13
I’m glad it made you smile 🙂
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:25:43
Oh man, these make me crazy all the time! Especially #1 and #3. The others just make the grammar Nazi in me snicker. I found out the serial/Oxford comma is standard issue in most fiction/nonfiction writing (Chicago style) but not in newspaper writing (AP style). Thus, my eyes smart a little bit whenever I read a newspaper.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 12:55:03
Chicago was the style guide required by all the courses in my master’s program, so I really have it to credit with my love of serial commas.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 14:07:21
Ever since Strunk and White crossed my path, “The fact that” has been on my list of annoyances. It’s completely unnecessary, wordy, and tries to ascribe some heavy importance rather than just letting the sentence stand for itself.
Feb 07, 2012 @ 17:50:42
The serial comma is the one that drives me nuts. So many people leave it out. I’ve gotten so used to seeing sentences without it that half the time, I even forget to put it in. Makes editing a nightmare.
Great post, Marcy. 🙂
Feb 08, 2012 @ 01:31:32
Nice post! #1-5 don’t bother me, but #6 always gets me. I was reading about dangling modifiers today, actually. I get the rule, but I need to pay more attention to it 🙂
Feb 08, 2012 @ 10:07:49
Great list Marcy! I would have commented last night, but I was so tired I probably would have made every single mistake listed. LOL My eyes are still blurry so who knows what you will find now. 😀 When I get in the zone and start typing I will sometimes find some of these mistakes when I go back to edit. It drives me nuts. The fact that… just kidding! Thanks for posting this great list! It is a wonderful reminder.
Feb 08, 2012 @ 12:34:54
Great post!!! Those grammatical errors drive me nuts too!
Feb 09, 2012 @ 01:06:11
Wow Marcy, I wish I had your grammar background. I’m constantly checking and re-checking my posts to make sure I don’t look like a idiot in the grammar department. And it’s funny, because I can read the material over, and over again, and still find mistakes. I hope someone would do me the kindness and let me know so I can make the correction. That would save me from hiding under my bed. lol Thank you for these reminders. A mini refresher course. 🙂
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