One Thing Magneto Got Right
I’m very excited to have Jessica O’Neal visiting today. Jess’ blog, The Sexy Little Nerd, is one of my absolute favorites. From her Harry Potter series, to her more recent posts on Robin Hood, fantasy book reviews, and vlogs on everything from The Hunger Games to Game of Thrones, visiting her site is like going to a friend’s house. Please help me welcome Jess…..
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I want to give a huge thank you to Marcy for having me over today. As a sister nerd, her blog has always been one of my favorites to visit. She leaves some pretty big shoes to fill and I hope that I am able to do them justice.
One Thing Magneto Got Right
When most people first meet me, they’re surprised to learn what a gargantuan nerd I am. Whether it is my obsession with Harry Potter, my affinity for all things fantasy, or my new found obsession with archery (which started from a desire to live out some of my favorite stories), people are always left gaping. For whatever reason, I am an unexpected nerd. Recently, attention has been called to another one of my nerd proclivities: comic book movies.
I’m a HUGE comic book movie fan. I am convinced that if I had been born a boy rather than a girl someone would have introduced me earlier to the wonder that is comic books, but alas that never happened. Instead, I was left ignorant of these fabulous stories until they started to take over the cinema. One of these movie franchises that I have particularly enjoyed is Marvel’s X-Men.
When these movies started to come out, I knew very little about the X-Men. I had, of course, heard of some of them before, such as Wolverine, but I didn’t really know much about the story. After the first movie, I was in love. As movie after movie began to come out, that love did nothing but grow. I was enraptured by these characters and the relationships they had with one another as they struggled to come to terms with who they were, what they could do, and what they should do. There were so many lessons that could be taken out of the lives of these mutants.
My favorite of the series is, without a doubt, X-Men: First Class. The history between Professor Charles Xavier and Magneto had always fascinated me, so getting to see that history unfold with the brilliant acting of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender was very nearly a cathartic experience. I am not ashamed to admit that the break between them brought me to tears. And not just a few tears. When I tell people that one of the most heartbreaking movies I have ever seen is a comic book movie, they look at me like I’m crazy. That’s okay. The understanding of others is not a necessary component to my enjoyment.
But there was the development of another relationship in X-Men: First Class that really struck a chord within me. I am referring to Magneto and Mystique.
Mystique (played by Jennifer Lawrence who is also starring in the upcoming The Hunger Games movie) is different than a lot of the other mutants in that the evidence of her mutation, her true self, does not allow her to blend in with *normal* society. Mystique has the ability to change her appearance at will to look like any other human, but when she is in her natural form, she has blue skin and yellow eyes. In order to feel accepted she, therefore, chooses to spend the majority of her time in a different skin.
This is something that I think a lot of us do – I know I do. We are afraid to show our true selves to others for fear that they won’t like who we are, so we morph into the person we think they want us to be, the person we think they will accept. This is an exhausting task that will gradually wear us down.
There is a scene in the movie when Mystique, in her more *normal* human form, is lifting weights. Magneto startles her by manipulating the weights to float in the air above her. He says to her, “If you are using half of your concentration to look normal, then you’re only half paying attention to whatever else you are doing. Just pointing out something that could save your life.” He then releases the weights and, in order to catch them before they fall on her, Mystique has to release her shifted form. Magneto then says, “You want society to accept you, but you can’t even accept yourself.”
This brief scene really resonated with me. When we figuratively put on whatever skin we think certain people want to see in order to accept us, we are actually achieving the opposite. We can not be truly accepted by someone when we prevent them from seeing who we really are. Yes, when we do reveal the real us, flaws and all, there will be some people who judge us, but are those really the people we want to be close to anyway? Wouldn’t we rather be surrounded by people who know and accept the real us?
The really amazing thing is, when we learn to love ourselves for who we actually are, people can sense that and are drawn to it. People can sense when they’re being shown a false or incomplete version of someone and are turned off by it, whether they consciously realize it or not. So by accepting ourselves, we make it easier for others to accept us as well.
In spite of the path that Magneto and Mystique eventually choose, I believe in this moment Magneto has the right idea. Self-acceptance may not be easy, but the best things never are.
Do you agree with the lesson Magneto gives Mystique? Does one need to first accept herself before she can expect others to?
Jessica O’Neal is a fantasy writer with a BA in Psychology with a minor in English. Alongside her writing, she co-hosts Glee Chat and Smash Chat. She currently lives in Florida with her husband and crazy Jack Russell named Moses. Check out her blog The Sexy Little Nerd, or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 09:16:40
This was such a perfect post. I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to express exactly how I feel, but it isn’t really coming out in words (just strange, garbled noises). I LOVED this movie, and especially that part in it. The bedroom scene when he finally convinces her that who she is is perfect was just phenomenal. I could never quite hate Magneto in these movies, but this is especially true after seeing First Class and reading your post. You did an awesome job, Jess. You were definitely channeling Marcy’s incredible ability to use stories like this to teach us a lesson about life. Loved it!
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:17:16
Thank you, Karen. Yes, the bedroom scene was another wonderful moment between the two of them. Those two scenes really help show why the two of them are so close and why she would choose him over Charles who had been her friend and protector for so long. I;m telling ya, this movie is one of the best character films I have ever watched. So good!
Mar 19, 2012 @ 10:16:14
I also love comic book movies. Well, I love almost any movie with action. I grew with two brothers and am close to my dad, so my TV and movie tastes run pretty male. I didn’t think about it at the time, but you are right on with this post! Magneto was right. We all do have to accept ourselves and love ourselves as we are before anyone else can. And pretending takes up way too much energy. Great post!
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:20:55
I really liked that Magneto acknowledged the energy a false front takes, too. That is something that a lot of people don’t think about, but it is so true. Keeping up a facade is exhausting and only serves to make us even more unhappy with ourselves. Thanks, Emma!
Mar 19, 2012 @ 11:02:43
Great post, Jess. That is one my favorite scene from that movie. It explained so much about Mystique – and I actually liked her even though I’d enjoyed hating her previously. It’s important to understand where people are coming from.
I think it’s important to accept ourselves for who we are – but the bigger lesson for me with Mystique is to stop caring if the real me makes me stand out or look different from everyone else.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:28:01
I think the not caring that you mention is a large component of being able to accept oneself. If you still care about being different, then you haven’t truly accepted yourself at all. Thank you for bringing that point up! And I completely agree with you about loving to find out so much about the motivations behind who Mystique is and why she is that way. So interesting.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 12:01:29
I definitely believe we’re less likable when we dislike ourselves. I also think it doesn’t matter much whether people do accept us if we don’t, because we won’t be able to tell. When I’ve felt down on myself, I’ve assumed others have, too.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:31:23
That is so true, August. So much of it involves our perception of how people feel about us rather than the actual truth of their feelings. As our perspective on ourselves improves so too does our assumption of the way others view us. It is all so interwoven and complicated, which is probably why it is so difficult to find true self-acceptance.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 15:02:18
I’ll just ditto what August said above. If we’re not happy with us, then we are not usually able to recognize other’s good opinion of us. If we ‘know’ what we’re like and we don’t like ourselves, it stands to reason if others really knew us, they wouldn’t like us either.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:39:13
This is absolutely true. It is amazing how much our self-perception affects…well, everything. Thank you for the comment, Louise.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 15:02:42
Beautiful post, Jess! I couldn’t agree more. We were just talking about this last night, never judge someone immediately by their actions because you don’t know where they are coming from. Mystique is a perfect example of this.
Thank you for hosting her, Marcy.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:40:55
That is such a good point, Debra. Thank you for bringing that up. That is something that I always try to be cognizant of, though not always successfully.
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:57:50
I was happy to have her over for the day 🙂 I actually got so excited after reading this post that I had to watch the movie last night 🙂
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:23:03
Absolutely agree with the lesson. First time I saw that I felt like he had been talking to a younger version of myself. Magneto rocks! Mystique rules!
Mar 19, 2012 @ 17:42:01
Thank you, Prudence. I think that he was pretty much talking to all of us in that scene. LOL
Mar 19, 2012 @ 18:17:35
Hi, Jessica and Marcy. Nice post and great message about the path we choose in life. I love a good “moral of the story” story.
I’m not so much a fan of the comic book movies, but my husband is so I’ve seen my fair share of them. I did see the one you used and I was actually shocked that the message was so loud and clear. I was expecting some contorted fantasy type message, but the truth is, fiction or real, the moral of this story is an ideal one. Be yourself and let your true friends find you.
Great post ladies.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Mar 20, 2012 @ 12:13:30
Love that and what an important message to learn and embrace!
Mar 20, 2012 @ 18:39:00
Yes, yes, yes. I totally agree with your post and what an awesome way to express it by using a movie and characters you love. It was a perfect example. I have to admit I have not yet seen this movie, but now I feel the need to go watch it!
Mar 21, 2012 @ 08:20:19
Jessica – I thought your post hit the target in the bull’s eye. And your use of a thrilling popular (and awesome!) movie is an excelent way to say that using our energies to put on different masks ultimately takes away from what we truly want to do.
When my health changed in 2000 and as my trigeminal neuralgia (extreme facial nerve pain) in my right side of my face and my multiple sclerosis developed, I discovered that my friendships shifted and changed. I understood why this was happening. It is difficult to maintain friends with someone who cancels plans at the last minute, who may not be in touch with you for weeks, and ultimately moves away and is no longer near any friends. My friends (and my family) have a choice to accept me for exactly who I am because, unfortunately, I cannot change the health of my body (unlike Mystique who could change her normal human form). I have made a tremendous effort to call/email/chat/Facebook with friends/family in the last 4 months to repair months of being MIA. Even though it is challenging to keep in touch with people (and it is a slow process), being available to people I love is very important to me. My energy can’t be used to say to people and put on the mask of “Oh – I’ll definitely be at your house on Friday and we can watch the kids together or go out to eat,” or something like that. It doesn’t work and it ends up being a lie. I now tell people, “I want to be there, and I will try my best. But is it all right to let you know Friday around lunchtime?” That person now has a choice to decide whether tentative plans can fit that particular situation. I certainly don’t mind if they need someone else. Overall, I am very blessed to have the people in my life – who accept calls many weeks apart, yet we pick up where we last chatted. I thank them all, as well as my patient family, with every fiber of my heart.
Mar 21, 2012 @ 18:24:27
Great post Jessica! And thank you Marcy for being such a wonderful host!
I think that you cannot like or care for others if you truly dislike yourself. Those feelings for others stem from within. 🙂
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Mar 23, 2012 @ 10:26:01
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