How to Keep Strong Female Characters Likeable
A few weeks ago, I asked “What Do We Mean by Strong Female Characters?” and argued that a female character doesn’t have to deny traditionally feminine qualities to be strong.
But what if you need to write a physically strong woman with few of those traditionally feminine qualities?
Sometimes a story does call for this type of female character. In the novel I’m working on with my co-writer, Lisa Hall-Wilson, our main female character is an Amazon. She’s been raised to hate men and to see all signs of femininity as weakness. If we allow her too many feminine qualities (at least in the beginning), we’ll undermine the believability of her society and her character.
Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games is a great example of this as well, as is Kara “Starbuck” Thrace in Battlestar Galactica.
Katniss doesn’t want children. She’s more at home in the woods hunting than she is helping her mother nurse others. And she’s placed into a situation where it’s kill or be killed.
Starbuck is a fighter pilot who needs to be tough in order to get respect and survive. Her commander assigns her emotionally grueling tasks like interrogating (i.e., torturing) prisoners and assassinating a dangerous superior officer.
So how do you make sure this type of female character is still likeable?
Unfortunately, most of us can’t relate to this type of woman. She’s not like us. She’s not like our mothers or our best friends or our significant others. And when we feel like we have nothing in common with someone, it makes them difficult to like. If your reader doesn’t like your main character at all, that spells death for your story.
As writers, we have to do a little extra work to give that common ground if we’re creating a strong female character who denies traditional feminine qualities.
Answer the question “What made her this way?”
When Katniss’ father died in a mining accident, her mother sunk into a deep depression. Katniss had to feed and care for herself and her younger sister. She had to be the “man of the house.” She didn’t really have a choice. Her world dictated how she feels about motherhood as well. Why would she want to have children when they could be reaped for the Games and killed?
The writers of Battlestar Galactica also recognized the need to explain how Starbuck became so hard. We get glimpses of Starbuck’s abusive mother, one who told her daughter that she was weak and a failure, and who beat Starbuck so often that she came to believe pain was a way of life.
In showing how Katniss and Starbuck became who they are, the writers allowed us to sympathize with them, even pity them. And as the old English proverb says, “Pity is akin to love.”
NOTE: I’ve had to remove the rest of this post because it’s now a part of my book Strong Female Characters: A Busy Writer’s Guide. You can buy a copy at Amazon, Amazon.ca, Kobo, or Smashwords. They’ll be available in more places soon!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 08:43:34
This is a really interesting article. Both my current WIPs have strong female roles.
For my Novel Earth Angel my main character, Gabrielle, lacks in femininity. She is a criminal in jail for the murder of her mother but only later in the novel we find out (and so does her sibling) that she killed her mother to save the life of her child (Gabrielle was abused by her mother and nearly died as a result.) She loves her brother and her friends and would risk herself to save them. It’s her redeeming quality.
Thank you for the interesting and thought provoking article!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:43:53
Thanks 🙂 I’m glad you liked it. It sounds like Gabrielle is exactly this kind of strong female character, and it was wise of you to build in her love for her brother and friends.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 09:28:16
This is making me think a lot! My main characters are both women, and one is very strong, but she has to also be feminine. It’s just the way she is. I think that I can use some of your suggestions on them, too. And the first way I am doing that is using their relationship with each other. As sisters, that is so important to my story. Great post! Thanks, Marcy.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:46:00
A relationships between siblings is such a great universal topic to use. It’s something that most of us have (for better or worse) and so we can relate to it in either wishing we had it or recognizing our own relationship in it 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 09:36:29
Such a great post Marcy and so true. As soon as I started reading it, I asked myself what it was about Katniss that made her likeable and it was exactly that! A glimpse into what made her this way, and I think her relationship with her sister and with Gale…we could relate to her with that knowledge…
Wonderful post!!!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:48:57
Thanks for adding the example of her relationship with Gale. The really great aspect to that one I think is it showed not only her ability to eventually trust someone (a softening quality) but also that she was worthy of being trusted. Either of them could have gotten the other in trouble. Plus, they had the deal where if one of them was reaped, the other would continue to look after both families. That alone added great depth to Katniss and made her admirable.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 09:59:48
Terrific tips, Marcy! I find that delving in a character’s backstory extremely important to her development and likability. Showing her humanness is also important to me, as I tend to feature strong characters with deep wounds or insecurities. My goal is to highlight these issues, without making her self-deprecating or pitiful. Giving her strong motivations seems to help.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:52:37
It sounds like your characters will come to life off the page 🙂 Because of my social psychology degree, it’s characters who are the most fascinating part of writing (and reading) for me. They’re a large part of what makes books re-readable.
Oct 29, 2013 @ 22:57:43
Great tips. ( I know you wrote this a while ago but I just needed some tips about female character developent and that particular female character being the main character)
Luna Lacrimosa is my main character that is unknowningly a clone and well she has a personality that loves to fight and tease others. She may appear cold but she isn’t. She is highly sensitive and is haunted by memories she believes aren’t hers. Also she lives with the deep guilt of killing everyone in her city (but she didn’t) So yeah she doesn’t smile but smirks and remarks highly
Apr 04, 2012 @ 10:16:50
Great tips Marcy. I especially like then one about showing that your character loves something. You’re right, vulnerability really is significant!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:53:05
Thanks 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 10:37:16
In my first novel, “The Elder Effect” I was told by my editor that the main female character is supposed to be strong. I created her so feminine and frightened in the beginning of the story that I thought I might be missing the point. As my first novel, I had no idea if I were supposed to follow some pre-written rule on what a main character is. I used no pre-determined outline throughout the three years it took to write the two books. There are several main characters and I quickly fell in love with all of them. They were the reason the books were actually finished. I never thought I would, but three days after I completed “The Elder Effect,” I started “Vital Perception,” simply because I missed them so much. They are written in the first person and therefore narrated by Beverly.
I am still learning and now that “The Elder Effect” has been published (Nov 8th 2011) I find some things I would have done differently. I think that I have in “Vital Perception,” the continuation of the story. When I was told “strong female character,” I interpreted strong in the sense that she became so important to the story that she could in no way be left out. Over all, I believe I managed to get it told in an enjoyable manner. Thank you for the post. D. L. Given
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:56:21
We definitely need to love (or hate) our characters if we want the readers to feel the same way 🙂 Excellent point.
Sometimes the terminology can be confusing. For the purpose of this series, when I talk about strong characters, I’m not using it as a synonym for three-dimensional. That’s something for later posts 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 11:59:07
I found this via the Wana1011 group on Facebook, and I am so glad I clicked the link. This is some super advice.
It is hard to write a strong female character and not have people dislike her. I never quite understood why until you described Katniss and said most women can’t relate to her because she is not like them and not like anybody else they know. What a perfect way to say it.
And your suggestions for making such a character likable are excellent. Though I had been doing most of this stuff I now have some ideas of what needs to be fleshed out a bit more and why.
Thanks!
Apr 06, 2012 @ 20:47:10
I’m glad you stopped by too 🙂
It’s always exciting for me when I can say something in a way that turns on the light bulb for someone else the way the idea did for me.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 12:31:26
This is precious, Marcy! My WIP has a strong female protagonist, and your tips will be invaluable to tweak some aspects of her personality.
Your insights into Katniss and Kara are spot-on. Thanks.
Apr 06, 2012 @ 20:50:39
Thank you for the compliment. I’m glad it helped 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 12:33:04
This is a very interesting piece. I’ve always wondered why The Hunger Games drew such a large audience, and the main character is definitely one of the reasons. If Katniss was not relatable, the books wouldn’t have taken off the way they did.
Apr 06, 2012 @ 20:50:07
You’re very right. A book without a likeable main character might gain critical acclaim if it’s brilliantly written, but it isn’t likely to be as popular as The Hunger Games.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:16:13
Good techniques here, Marcy. Got more? 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 14:02:48
Thanks! I’m still considering whether to extend this mini-series another post or two 😉
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:46:18
Great examples, Marcy! I had to re-work a particularly unlikeable heroine in my last manuscript. It was hard to redeem her. I liked her, but I understood her. Everyone who read it, said, “I really don’t like her very much.”
That was a huge blow. I think I’ve fixed her now though.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Apr 04, 2012 @ 14:01:03
Lisa and I faced the same feedback in the early drafts of our manuscript with our Amazon POV character. People felt she was too hard and unsympathetic. It was tricky for us to stay true to her character while still helping the readers relate to her a little more.
I’m glad you were about to fix your heroine as well 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 13:51:12
Very interesting, Marcy. I always liked these characters because I saw something of me in them. I never felt the way you are describing. I guess I am in the minority. Could it be my Viking blood? LOL Any who… you have giving me something to think about. I will have to make more of a point of dropping bread crumbs to explain why my protagonists are they way they are. Thanks!
Apr 06, 2012 @ 20:51:29
I’ll be quoting your comment in one of my upcoming posts 🙂 Stay tuned!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 14:01:20
I think it was Blake Snyder’s CAT book that said to make a character likeable, show them helping out a person or animal early on in the book. So your tips really tie into that, Marcy. Thanks for the wonderful post!
Apr 04, 2012 @ 15:05:23
I remember watching BSG and wanting to hate Starbuck, but I couldn’t. Because, while I didn’t always agree with her behavior and choices, I understood where they came from.
Characters don’t have to be like us for us to sympathize.
Great post!
Apr 10, 2012 @ 12:46:33
I agree. There are ways to make us sympathize with characters whether they’re like us or not and whether we even like them or not. It’s just so much harder 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 15:06:44
“By letting the reader see what they love, you’ve shown they have a soft spot, an Achilles heel. (You also have a built-in way to ramp up the tension by threatening the thing they love.)”
Excellent points, Marcy. I vote you extend this series by another post or two.
Apr 10, 2012 @ 12:47:00
I have one ready for tomorrow for sure 😉
Apr 04, 2012 @ 16:57:25
Great post! There is a difference between strong female characters and those who need to be fierce and more male to survive what they’re going through. I love this new perspective, it changes how I will view characters, I might even re-read a few books I put down because the author was saying strong female, but meant a woman who needed to be a warrior and survive in a males world by being as much like a man as possible.
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.
Apr 06, 2012 @ 20:58:51
Sometimes circumstances really do require it. As long as the author handles it carefully and consciously created their character that way not just as a cheap way to try to “make her strong” but because that’s what the character herself required, then it can work. I think it’s more of a challenge though.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 17:06:20
Great information. I have recently started two stories with female main characters. One of my goals for this month is character development and this information gives me something to think about as I delve into who these characters are.
Apr 04, 2012 @ 20:47:46
Sure you can write another post about strong women characters Marcy! We women are multifaceted creatures. You know you’re not finished with us yet! LOL! I love this series. You’ve made some great points for us to focus on. Thank you! 🙂
Apr 04, 2012 @ 22:21:57
Great post, Marcy! It’s true, we need some kind of connection with those strong, tough-as-nails characters. Part of me likes that kind of character, just because it’s something I haven’t been able to be, but it’s just as important to make them seem like real people, because then maybe such strength isn’t unattainable. (Though preferably without the tragic past.)
Apr 06, 2012 @ 21:13:49
So often I feel fragile and envy those tough-as-nails characters too. I think you’ve summed it up perfectly. If the author makes them seem real, then maybe we’ll be able to get stronger. (Agreed about wanting to avoid the tragic past though.)
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Apr 05, 2012 @ 16:31:59
Great post, Marcy! What are your thoughts about weak men? And not weak in a bad way. Maybe I mean men who do not fit the stereotypical male role. Is there such a thing, without turning them into caricatures? Do men have a wider range of roles available to them to still be heroes?
Apr 10, 2012 @ 14:34:03
Good question!
My post tomorrow looks a little bit at characters who break the stereotypical male and female roles.
That said, I think the core for a strong male character is actually very similar to a strong female character–he’s smart, acts, and stands up for what he believes in. The one main difference is that with male characters I think we have a little more latitude in that people will accept if they’re strong in place of smart.
Apr 05, 2012 @ 17:38:37
Spot on! My main character is a demon, and it’s a fine line to keep her demonic and have still have the reader relate to her. I’ve used both the “she cares about 1 person so much she’d sacrifice all for them” and “one person cares about her enough to sacrifice himself for her” points.
I’ve also made her funny. Humor always helps 🙂
Apr 05, 2012 @ 21:29:49
I enjoyed this post, Marcy. And your points are so simple but so true.
Cuts right to the heart (hehe). I love Starbuck, but haven’t read or seen the Hunger Games yet – although I suspect it won’t be too far off!
Apr 06, 2012 @ 14:37:57
Great examples. I loved the Hunger Games and Starbuck was one of my favourite characters in Battlestar Galactica. But gosh I wanted to smack her on the back of the head many times.
I also vote for more strong female character goodness 🙂
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Apr 09, 2012 @ 22:09:52
This article reminds me of the “Save the Cat” principle touted by author Blake Snyder. He proposes the same thing you do: give the audience a reason to love an unlovable character. In Snyder’s case, he was talking about a villain, but the idea easily translates to a gruff protagonist as well. I hadn’t taken that into consideration. Thank you for the twist on my thinking! 🙂
Andi-Roo /// @theworld4realz
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Aug 09, 2017 @ 12:02:52
I’m a budding male autistic and asexual writer and I honestly don’t know what to do.
I have been very confused because there is a part of me that supports strong female characters.
Please allow me to explain.
I am a hardcore individualist. I don’t believe, but know for fact, that a human beings are fully capable of thinking and acting of their own accord. I need to make the confession that I gravitate around assertive types who do what they want without anyone butting in. As offensive as this may sound, there is another part of me that says that it does not see gender or sex, for we are all just sentient globs of flesh. I hope I didn’t tick anybody off with that.