What About Characters Who Don’t Match Stereotypical Male and Female Qualities?
In the previous post in this series on “How to Keep Strong Female Characters Likeable,” featuring Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica and Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games, Debra Kristi commented, “I always liked these characters because I saw something of me in them. I never felt the way you are describing. I guess I am in the minority.”
Sarah Zahorchak on Google+ also asked, “Are we geared to automatically like stereotypical male and female characters more? (I’m no psychologist, so maybe we do! I don’t actually know.)”
All those “stereotypical” male and female qualities are stereotypes because they contain some truth. Women generally do like shopping for a great pair of shoes or a killer purse. We generally are more emotional (or at least show our emotions more). We generally talk more. Writers in the Storm recently had an excellent guest post by Rob Preece called “Women Are From Venus, Men Are Annoying” on some of the key differences between the sexes and how this should affect the way we write our characters.
I think sometimes we fight so hard against admitting these differences because we’re afraid that, by admitting them, we’re saying men and women aren’t equal. But we can be different while still being equal. In fact, we should be proud of our differences. The differences between my husband and I work to our advantage in coming at problems from fresh angles, and force us to look outside ourselves and really consider someone else’s preferences.
But aren’t there exceptions? Don’t some men and women have characteristics that usually belong to the opposite sex?
Of course. As Debra mentioned, she’s an exception. So am I. If you bring a problem to me, instead of giving you empathy the way a normal woman would, I’m going to try to explain why it happened and find a solution for you, much like a man. It’s not that I don’t feel empathy. I feel your problem deeply, but I’m a born fixer.
Before you create a character who’s the exception, analyze your motivation.
NOTE: I’ve had to remove the rest of this post because it’s now a part of my book Strong Female Characters: A Busy Writer’s Guide. You can buy a copy at Amazon, Amazon.ca, Kobo, or Smashwords. They’ll be available in more places soon!
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Apr 11, 2012 @ 09:24:06
Another great post! You really got me thinking! One of my characters is atypically strong, but I have to mesh that with her cultural background and some people don’t see it as strong in the typically male sense. But, I think I am doing it the right way, because I am making it authentic to her background. Thanks for giving me guidelines for how to do this, Marcy!
Apr 11, 2012 @ 15:06:49
If you’re making it authentic to her background then it does sound like you’re doing it right 🙂 I’m glad you liked it!
Apr 11, 2012 @ 10:21:19
What a great post! Love the questions you gave on creating the characters. It’s so important to get into their heads and really question WHY they’re a certain way, much like a therapist would.
As for stereotypes, I think the women being shopoholics are way overdone. Yes, we like to shop, but so do a lot of men I know. And I think the idea that men don’t show emotion is sometimes exaggerated. It seems like the younger generation IS getting better about that, having been brought up in a new environment. Ugh, I sound like I’m ancient, lol.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 15:30:56
Haha. You don’t sound old at all. I think the new generation will start to reinvent the stereotypes, so part of writing our characters will be knowing what generation they come from. Culture also plays a big role. My Eastern European grandfather is much more emotional than my grandfather who was raised in North America by a nanny.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 10:42:21
Fantastic post, Marcy!! Characterization is endlessly fascinating, isn’t it?
Also, thanks so much for linking to Rob’s post on WITS! He did such a great job on male POV…I loved that post.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 15:35:04
Characterization is one of my favorite aspects of writing. I always want to know what makes people tick 🙂
You’re very welcome. I loved that post so I hope everyone clicks through to read it.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 12:14:32
haha – My friends in school said I was part lizard because I never cried at movies – they teased that I must not have any tear ducts. But I learned early in life never to cry in public – no matter what. Wasn’t born that way.
When I read a story with a strong female character – the fall back relate-able trait seems to be a protective streak a mile wide. Don’t mess with my friends – bit. That’s getting a bit overdone, IMO.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 15:43:11
A protective streak is an often found characteristic for both male and female characters I think because it’s something most of us can relate to. We either have someone in our lives we feel the need to protect or we have the desire to be protected ourselves. Definitely needs to be a strategic choice if you’re going to use it for your character because it has been done so much.
P.S. I don’t cry at movies either 🙂
Apr 11, 2012 @ 13:09:51
Fabulous post! I’m working on characterization now so also very timely 🙂 And thanks for the link to Rob’s post…excellent.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 15:43:37
I’m glad I could help 🙂
Apr 11, 2012 @ 13:16:39
One of the reasons I like the TV series Bones (on Netflix) is the contrast of the more more psychologically aware Agent Booth with the completely unsentimental Dr. Bones.
The series takes time to motivate the emotional difficulties Bones has with relationships with her father and brother, having been abandoned and raised in foster care.
She is a very strong character, as are her coworkers and boss. I’ve noticed in the later episodes, the writers have put in a lot more macho-jock personality traits for Booth, probably because he was a bit too sensitive for the perceived audience.
I don’t try to make my own characters fit or not fit a stereotype. I’m not a shopaholic, though you wouldn’t know it from my credit card bills. I buy what I like on line because I can’t get it locally.
I think female characters can be strong and likeable–or not, c.f. Bella in the Twilight Series. I think women can be strong and bitchy, weak and controlling (Blanche in Streetcar), likeable and ditzy, either in fiction or in real life.
Apr 12, 2012 @ 19:32:26
Bones is a great characters. Bones of the things I like best with her that they’re doing this season is showing that a woman can love her baby and want to spend time with her baby without abandoning her intelligence. It’s nice to see Bones deep love for her daughter balancing out her inability to understand some of the finer points of human interaction.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 14:02:33
Well, I think that if you’re writing romance in particular, which I mostly do, the male hero character especially has to be steroeotypically a big strong bad ass who’s not afraid of anything and will protect what’s his. So if you write genre fiction, you are expected to follow certain stereotypes. Especially if you want to get published in the traditional manner. No one likes a wimpy hero.
But it is nice to see characters with one or two traits that might not follow the traditional expectations so long as the characters are still believeable and true to their role in the story. Like a big strong bad ass who cries at the birth of his child.
That’s just my two cents.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Apr 12, 2012 @ 19:33:24
You make a very good point about certain genre expectations. The beta hero wouldn’t be well accepted in the romance genre. But there’s always room to play with it as you’ve also said! 🙂
Apr 11, 2012 @ 17:52:36
I love how different men and women are… the traits that make men and women need one another. But I agree, there’s times when the status quo shifts and different character traits arise. It keeps things interesting.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 19:04:59
I dislike it when books portray women as less sexual than men, or worse, self-deprecating and non-sexual—a stereotype worth breaking, IMHO. 😉 (The brain is the biggest sex organ, right?? LOL) Pushing the all-men-are-pigs notion also drives me bonkers.
I embrace the gender differences as well, but don’t think we should live our lives or write our books by them as though they are laws. Great post!
Apr 12, 2012 @ 19:38:06
I think that women as less sexual is a strange hold over from Victorian times. But I think most movies today are working to even things out 🙂
The all-men-are-pigs idea is one that really grates on me as well.
Apr 11, 2012 @ 21:35:18
Ah, Marcy. It all makes sense now. I truly appreciate the approach you take when it comes to editing my work. You dig deep and offer suggestions to “fix” the problems.
Apr 12, 2012 @ 19:38:43
It’s so fun having you stop by, Tracy 🙂
Apr 13, 2012 @ 12:47:07
Thanks for the mention! I actually posted on Wednesday and – Er- messed that up somehow. Blonde moment? LOL. It sounds like we have a lot in common, Marcy.
I don’t think I give any thought to stereotypes when I am creating my characters. They just develop or are inspired by someone somewhere. Where I tend to fall down and need to watch myself is that I spend so much time thinking about how they are I forget to consider how they really look (outside of the main characters). Does that make sense? I often forget to give the reader a visual of my smaller players. They could be anyone, any color, any race. That’s where I need to go back and take a closer look – if I want them to be defined or not.
Apr 13, 2012 @ 12:52:18
Externals are actually one of my weak points too. I think for me it’s because I just don’t think about what they look like. I’m so fascinated by the internals of my characters that their appearance doesn’t seem to matter 🙂 Obviously it does matter, but that shows how my mind is wired 🙂
Apr 13, 2012 @ 22:58:36
Great post! I don’t quite agree that most women like shopping for purses and shoes–I think it translates to this: Women like pretty things. Men have little to no concern about whether things are pretty–they’re more interested in utility. Whether a person enjoys shopping is a different question altogether, and I’m not sure it’s related to gender. All these qualities exist on a continuum. The male and female continua don’t line up exactly, but there’s significant overlap.
Apr 14, 2012 @ 10:36:53
Great post! I love strong characters who show their flaws and/or weaknesses, be they male or female. But, on the other hand, (and I’ll probably get flamed for this), I didn’t particularly like ‘Twilight’ because Bella was such a mopey character, and I didn’t see much evolution in her. I like to see characters evolve and grow, and try and bring that into my writing.
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Apr 15, 2012 @ 08:39:35
[…] see from above, I’ve been working on characters. Marcy Kennedy wrote a wonderful post about characters who don’t match stereotypical qualities and included a link to Rob Preece’s guest post Women are from Venus, Men are annoying. LOL, a […]
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May 30, 2012 @ 06:11:53
[…] What about characters who don’t match stereotypical male and female qualities. […]
Jun 03, 2012 @ 21:46:06
Nice job, Marcy. This is an excellent article on characterization. It can be hard to write a rounded, interesting character and it can be hard to write a totally unique and off the wall one… this is a good reminder to, perhaps, blend both. Shared!