Do You Listen to Advice?
Are we alone in the universe? If not, should we try to make contact?
At the start of Battleship, scientists have found an Earth-like planet the perfect distance from its own sun to sustain life and big enough to have its own atmosphere. They don’t know if an intelligent species lives on the planet or not, so they send out a message using a deep space satellite.
One scientist assigned to the project worries this is a bad idea. “If there is intelligent life out there and they’re able to travel here, it’ll be like Columbus and the Indians. But we’ll be the Indians.”
Confident in human superiority, no one listens to him. The aliens show up years later as the Navy’s RIMPAC joint naval exercise opens. They’re not friendly.
Lieutenant Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) serves on a destroyer, and is out on the Pacific for RIMPAC. The aliens set up an impenetrable bubble, cutting off three ships from the rest of the fleet, and quickly destroy two of them. Because the captain and XO of his ship are killed, Hopper ends up the senior officer on the remaining ship.
Hopper is the worst possible choice for command. He’s been a screw-up his whole life because he’s too proud to listen to the wise advice of the people around him, and he allows himself to be goaded like a child. Before the alien attack, he was set to be dishonorably discharged for fighting with the captain of another navy’s ships. His natural intelligence and creativity are useless because they aren’t tempered by common sense and self-control.
You can tell by the looks on the crew’s faces that they think they’re doomed. And they might have been, except for one thing—Hopper finally listens to someone else. He takes the advice of his chief petty officer to retreat rather than ramming the alien ship with his destroyer the way he wanted to.
As the battle for earth continues, Hopper and his crew survive and destroy the alien ships within the bubble because he becomes humble enough to learn from others. He allows the Japanese captain (the one he fought with) to teach him a trick using water displacement and weather buoys to map an enemy’s position without radar. And when their destroyer finally goes down, they have only one ship left—the retired battleship Missouri. None of his men know how to operate the battleship, so Hopper humbles himself again to ask for help from the Korean War veterans, who most of the world sees as obsolete.
It’s important to trust our gut and to seek out creative solutions to problems. But there’s also a place for listening to people who have more experience and more wisdom than we do. We can’t always see our own shortcomings.
The closer we get to our goals and the more skilled we get, the easier it is to forget how much we still have to learn and how much wisdom older, more experienced people have to offer. It’s especially easy when the advice we need to hear comes from the lips of someone we don’t like. But if we don’t humble ourselves enough to at least listen, our arrogance can actually prevent us from achieving our dreams.
How do you decide when to listen to advice and when to go with your gut?
Join me on Facebook if you want to hear what I thought about the movie as a movie, apart from the cool lesson.
May 28, 2012 @ 07:49:54
In my experience there are several types of advice:
Solicited advice from an expert: [Paraphrasing from a dialog bit in a Sophie Kinsella book] “If I care enough to ask for their advice, I should care enough to follow it”, unless…
Opinion shopping: I know the answer I want, and fall into the trap of shopping until my choice is validated, but this usually happens when I…
Seek validation for a poor decision: Test the waters to validate what my gut has already told me is a poor choice.
Unsolicited advice? I go with my gut. Does is feel/sound right, and was the advice from someone I trust to have my best interest at the core of their advice.
Great, thought-provoking post.
So. Was my comment okay? 😉
May 28, 2012 @ 09:17:14
Hehe. You never fail to make me smile.
“Seek validation for a poor decision” – Excellent point. I think we do that both ways. We’ll seek validation for a decision that we know is the right one but don’t want to make. We’ll also seek validation if we’ve already made a really bad decision and now want to feel better about it.
May 28, 2012 @ 08:32:24
Good Morning Marcy!
I like that you used a military example on this day in which we remember those who have fallen in battle to protect our country.
I don’t think the options you presented are the only ones: listening to advice or go w/my gut. When I seek advice in a situation, I ask people that I know and trust – we have common values in life. I make a decision based upon the info I received and on my own experiences. If it is a situation in which I know very little about, I seek expert help (people w/more esperience, bks, online help, etc.) and make decisions based on a combination of my research & my creativity. It is easier to make decisions based on information received by people/tools that we trust & respect.
What I struggle with is when a person who I don’t like or don’t respect, offers advice which is probably sound advice. What is more my issue is ego, and I wonder if that was the issue w/Hopper (I don’t know for sure b/c I haven’t seen the movie). It is more difficult to make good decisions when ego gets in the way. It prevents us from recognizing expertise, people who are trustworthy, & other factors needed for good decision-making. I know when my ego gets in the way, I don’t recognize good advice or expertise.
Monique
http://www.bendsintheroad.com
May 28, 2012 @ 09:03:40
Thank you, Monique 🙂 I thought this movie would be a good fit for Memorial Day.
I find that when I actually ask for advice, it’s usually because I know the right thing to do, but for whatever reason, I don’t want to do it. I need that extra little push from someone I trust.
Hopper’s problem in the movie was definitely ego. In the beginning, he felt like he knew best and didn’t need anyone’s advice even though his life was clearly headed the wrong way. Ego can really hold us back.
May 28, 2012 @ 09:28:32
What a great lesson! And you really make me want to see this movie. I’m hoping that Hopper is Taylor Kitch so we will get to see him a lot! And, I’m hoping there are plenty of plot excuses for him to take of his shirt. 🙂 Really, though, it’s about the story. I love listening to people who have more experience than me and I always ask for advice. Maybe too much, actually. I wonder if there is a difference between women and men in taking advice. I mean, they don’t even like to ask for directions.
May 28, 2012 @ 11:16:00
Hopper is Taylor Kitsch 🙂 I probably should have put that in the post. (I think I’ll actually go back and add it in.)
While I’ve seen better movies, this one was the kind where I probably would have been disappointed had I not seen it in theaters simply because of the special effects.
I do think women tend to ask for advice more than men. I see the difference just between my husband and I. When I make a big decision, I want to talk to him, and my mom, and my best friends. When he makes a big decision, as long as he talks to me, he’s satisfied and gets on with it 🙂 I wonder though if that isn’t partly because as women we get pleasure from talking, while men prefer to act.
May 28, 2012 @ 19:19:21
Marcy…I think you are correct in that men don’t generally like to ask for advice…which is why we get so proficient at giving it. 🙂
May 30, 2012 @ 12:40:54
Haha! Is that why it happens!
May 28, 2012 @ 11:40:55
Interesting post, Marcy, and a good question, too. One that applies to so many things in life…..I generally ask for opinions to test my own perspective. Most of us are myopic about our own lives and we live in our heads so much that we forget there are other options and other points of view. I also ask for help from experts, by which I usually mean people who actually know and have demonstrated an ability to do the thing I want to do. I’m not much of a “tell me what you think” person. Good thing I didn’t want to be a therapist!! We can let Louise Behiel do that! 🙂
May 28, 2012 @ 13:49:30
thanks for the mention, Diane. Made me laugh.
May 30, 2012 @ 12:44:47
When it comes to experts, I’m usually more than happy to hand over the reins. I don’t do my own taxes for a reason. My accountant knows much better than I do what is deductible and what isn’t.
In other areas of life, I do like to check with people I trust because I get too close to things to be objective at times and I know it 🙂
May 28, 2012 @ 12:09:55
I always try to listen to the advice of others. I may or may not act upon it, but I have found it extremely useful to listen. Never know what you might learn. 🙂
May 28, 2012 @ 13:30:16
I’m just going to say Gloria is brilliant and gave all my answers. I especially loved the quote she used from Sophie Kinsella.
I was on the fence about this movie, but now I might have to drag the Hubs out to see it. I tend to get annoyed with characters who continually ignore good advice, but if he can humble himself, then he’ll be redeemed in my opinion.
May 28, 2012 @ 13:51:07
I do solicit information and advice. but I have to respect the source. Don’t tell me how to make a million dollars unless you can prove you’re living the life without being in hock up to your eyebrows. I also have a core of trusted friends who will tell me straight up if I’m going off the path. OOPS. don’t like it but i always appreciate their honesty. If I haven’t asked for your opinion/advice, generally it’s because I don’t care, so don’t waste your breath – unless you have expertise. LOL
May 28, 2012 @ 19:27:36
I’m with you, Louise! It’s like a patient soliciting weight loss advice from an overweight doctor.
You only ask that doctor where to buy the best eclairs. I’ve never been one to accept the ‘do as I say, not as I do,’ philosophy. If I want advice, I want it from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about.
As for how I make decisions… I don’t often ask for advice. Usually I spend a lot of time researching whatever it is I have to decide about. If I’m still not sure what to do, I will seek some counsel.
Usually though, I just go with my gut (after the research). If I make a bad decision, there’s no one to blame but myself. 🙂
May 28, 2012 @ 21:06:38
I definitely seek advice – often. Like you, I ask my mom, my husband, my friends… if I am unsure and sitting on the fence. I am sure I’ll be asking your advice about something soon. 😉 But like all the smart answers above mine, I must respect the source.
May 29, 2012 @ 11:56:55
I try to only go with advice that makes my gut happy. 😉 Great post as always, Marcy!
May 29, 2012 @ 23:46:01
I love the way your mind works, Marcy! Great post. 🙂
May 30, 2012 @ 08:55:59
I’m late to this, but great job on tying this into the movie. As for advice, I think you’ve got to go with your gut and pick and choose. I have a few people I really trust that I’ll listen to regarding life and writing, but you’ve got to be careful, because the more people you invite into your advice circle, the more opinions you’re going to get. Sometimes that can work the opposite way you want it to.