Four Tips for Lasting Happiness
I love getting blog awards because it means that someone, somewhere, thinks I’m doing a good job. Today that someone is Debra Kristi, and she awarded me the Sunshine Award. Thank you!
If you haven’t been to Debra’s blog yet, be sure to check it out after you finish here 🙂 You can also find her on Twitter as @DebraKristi.
(Someone recently also awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award. If it was you, please remind me in the comments so that I can make sure to give you a thank you and track back in an upcoming post.)
As you might imagine, this award comes with some rules, but since I’ve told you seven random facts about myself in a previous post, I’m going to break the rules again in a similar way to when I gave you 7 Tips for Increasing Creativity to celebrate my Kreativ Blogger Award.
Sunshine symbolizes happiness to me.
So, without further ado…
Marcy’s Four Tips for Lasting Happiness
Tip #1 – Fake it ‘till you make it.
Our actions influence our feelings. According to the psychological theory known as the facial feedback hypothesis, someone who’s forced to smile will actually begin to feel happier. (Studies have supported this theory.) This means that the next time you’re feeling blue, if you want to feel better faster, make a point of smiling.
A study of 60,000 adults, published in 2009 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, also showed that only 10% of our happiness is determined by our circumstances. This means that, no matter how bad things are, we have a lot of control over how we react to those circumstances and how we let them affect us.
Tip #2 – Surround yourself with happy people.
A study of 12,067 people by the New England Journal of Medicine showed that you have a 171% higher chance of gaining weight if one of your close friends gains weight. This effect had nothing to do with friends affecting food choices since the effect was seen even in close friends who lived far away from each other. Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School and one of the authors of the study, suggests the cause is a change in our perception of what’s acceptable.
It’s the same with happiness. Have you ever noticed how much worse you feel after spending the afternoon with someone who’s always complaining about their life? Compare that to how you feel after an afternoon with a friend who’s always positive and upbeat. Choose to spend more time with happy people and you will feel happier too.
Tip #3 – Figure out your happiness trigger.
A happiness trigger is something simple, fast, and inexpensive that can improve your mood. When I’m feeling down, I play very specific music. It has nothing to do with the lyrics and everything to do with the beat and attitude. And I play it loud. It works every time.
Your happiness trigger might be a walk, smelling the flowers in your garden, or a piece of dark chocolate. Start to pay attention to what fills you up with a swell of happiness, and use it strategically when you’re down.
Tip #4 – Focus on what you want to dominate your life.
As Qui-Gon told Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace (Star Wars Episode I), “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.”
If you’re friends with Tameri Etherton on Facebook, you’ve probably noticed that every day she posts a picture of something she’s thankful for. You can steal that idea, or you can do what I’ve started to do—every day choose one thing that you’re thankful for and write it down. It can be something small like a rainbow, or something big like finishing your novel or your spouse getting a raise at work.
You can also train your mind to “jump away” from unhappiness and to the good in your life. For example, every time your spouse does something that irritates you, think about one thing you love about them. For every part of your job you hate, find one that you enjoy or one reason why you’re thankful for having this particular job.
Now I get the pleasure of passing this award along.
I decided to give the Sunshine Award to people who’ve brought some sunshine into my life for the support they’ve shown me in the past month by commenting regularly on this blog. One of the reasons I enjoy blogging so much is all of you and the comments you leave.
Emma Burcart at Occasional Epiphanies
Kristy K. James at Living, Loving, Laughing
Stacy Green at Turning the Page
Louise Behiel at Journey of a Thousand Miles
Monique Liddle at Bends in the Road
Reetta Raitanen at The Dark Side has Chocolate
Diane Capri at Licensed to Thrill
What’s your best tip for happiness? Have you tried any of my tips?
REMINDER: Today is also the last day to enter to win the free critique. Visit Is Now Really the Best Time Ever for Writers? to find out how.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 07:28:09
Very nice post Marcy – I like the “positivity”! All the best to you with your writing and with your own pursuit of happiness.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:33:39
Thank you 🙂
Jun 08, 2012 @ 08:44:51
Thank you for the award, Marcy! XO!
My eyes popped at your tip #2. So true. My best friend has gained 10 pounds over the year, and so have I. She keeps telling me I focus too much on weight (and I do), but I also think her advice is stunting me, too. That said, I’m focusing more on eating balanced and exercising.
And I love Tameri’s daily posts. Always put a smile on my face.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:38:37
My husband and I are really working on being a team when it comes to weight loss. Part of the problem we’ve faced (especially me) is that when we got married, we had different ideas about what constituted a good meal (in both portion size and content). My perception of acceptable changed. We’re trying to reverse that because we both need to lose weight to be healthy.
We found the same is true of happiness. If one of us can stay positive, we’re able to bring the other one around 🙂
Jun 10, 2012 @ 09:28:40
Good for you. It’s been tough for me because unless I stick to the strict parameters of the Ideal Protein diet, which means very few carbs, including good carbs, I’ll put on some weight. The only way I can remain as thin as I was last summer is to eat only salad and greens. I’ve had to come to terms with that and decide if it’s worth sacrificing 10 pounds or so to eat some of what I enjoy. And not feel like a fat failure, lol.
Jun 10, 2012 @ 13:51:12
It sounds like you have the right mindset about it. I think sometimes our bodies have a different idea about our ideal weight than we do. There’s about a 10-20 pound difference between what I wanted my weight to be and what my body says is my healthy weight. Rather than having that low weight as my goal, I’m aiming now for the weight I was at when I was my healthiest.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 08:57:39
Thanks for the mention, Marcy! I could use the sunshine. That is actually my happiness trigger. When I feel the sun, I smile and am instantly happy. So, this post has helped me a lot. As I get bogged down with the tough stuff of moving, I need the reminder of what I’m moving to. And that is sunshine! Yay!
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:39:14
Sounds like yet another reason that you move is the right thing for you to do. You deserve this award 🙂
Jun 08, 2012 @ 09:14:38
Thanks for the happiness tips, Marcy!
I enjoyed them so much I emailed them to my coworkers as a Friday ‘treat.’
Hope you have an amazing weekend! 🙂
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:40:01
Thanks for sharing them! I appreciate that a lot 🙂 I hope you have an amazing weekend too.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 09:57:04
Love these tips, Marcy. I’m a fan of six of the seven bloggers you cited but didn’t know about Monique’s blog and now look forward to reading it. Have a sunshiny weekend.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:41:39
Monique is a genuinely nice person, and she tackles some deep and difficult topics on her blog, many of them relating to chronic pain.
Jun 10, 2012 @ 13:56:03
I think I learned about Monique here. She really is an inspiration, isn’t she?
Jun 08, 2012 @ 09:58:17
Great post, Marcy! Such a brilliant way to celebrate and pass your award on to others.
I love #1. I noticed long ago that when I’m in a bad mood and end up in public or around people I don’t know very well, I snap into “fake” happy mode. WIthin minutes, I really am happy.
My biggest positivity tools are pursuing my passion, goals and dreams and setting boundaries. Learning to say ‘no’ to gatherings and tasks I’m not into and would normally take on out of guilt or obligation has made a huge difference. I have more time to do what I love, and that, along with my happiness, grows.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:44:20
I owe you a thank you. You just helped me make a decision. I was getting some pressure to go to an event this weekend. I don’t really have the time to go, or the money, or the desire. My only reason for going would have been the guilt and sense of obligation because other people felt I should go. I’m going to send off an email right now declining 🙂 Makes me feel happier already!
Jun 08, 2012 @ 11:30:25
Congrats on your award! I love your tips for happiness and the idea of a “happiness trigger”. When I read that I realized I already do that with music and listening to my favorite actor read poetry. (His voice is so soothing it can snap me out of the foulest of moods.)
Jun 08, 2012 @ 12:45:05
I love that as a happiness trigger. Some people really do have that kind of voice. You just want to lean your head back and listen for hours.
Jun 08, 2012 @ 14:24:25
congrats, Marcy and thanks for sharing with me. I wish tip 2 would work in reverse – all my friends are losing weight . isn’t it exciting to know that I control my emotions and it’s not the other way around? what a freeing moment for me when I learned that.
Jun 09, 2012 @ 00:12:55
I love the way you changed the rules! Beautiful post, Marcy. You filled this piece full of wonderfully helpful information in addition to the traditional passing of the award. Bravo.
Jun 09, 2012 @ 09:16:49
I am an expert at #1 – but I’ve found all these to be true.
Jun 09, 2012 @ 11:42:11
So true! But reminders are always welcome. 🙂 Sometimes it’s hard to find that happiness, and we all can use a lift. Thank you, Marcy!
Jun 09, 2012 @ 22:02:20
Marcy, great tips! Lasting happiness is hard to find if you wallow. Smile and GO find happiness. Don’t just sit there grumping about everything that’s wrong.
Jun 10, 2012 @ 10:06:52
Wonderful tips, Marcy!
I’ll be applying them throughout the day! I especially love the simplicity of writing down ‘one thing’ I’m thankful for and focusing on that throughout the day.
Have a good one!
Jun 10, 2012 @ 10:11:26
Thanks for your lovely post Marcy.
Jun 10, 2012 @ 13:41:13
Love this post! My #1 motto is “Happy is a Choice, so Pick it & Get There!” I printed this out, put some pretty paper along the top & bottom of the page, then framed it & placed it on my desk as a constant reminder. I have issues with Depression (capitalized because it’s the serious kind, not the moody sort), so surrounding myself w/ things that make me happy is a big deal. Thank you for this awesome trigger to add more glitter to my trove! 🙂
Jun 10, 2012 @ 14:03:06
Great post and suggestions! I’ve been a firm believer in ‘fake it until you make it’ since the first time I set eyes on the book, Happiness is a Choice.
It IS all a choice. And the more I write, the more I realize this. When I need to get into a sad frame of mind (for sad scenes), I’ll listen to a music playlist guaranteed to make me cry. Same thing with scenes that are romantic, playful, angry, etc…
It’s the same with life. Stressed out? Try listening to happy, upbeat music (nature sounds…specifically waves washing up on shore so I can imagine being there) helps a whole lot.
Congratulations on winning the award…and thanks so much for passing it on to me. It’s quite an honor to receive it from a blogger I admire and enjoy. 🙂
Jun 10, 2012 @ 22:25:59
What a fantastic list! #2 is one I’ve practiced for a long time, but I really like #3! Kind of goes along with one I discovered a long time ago with a little help from Dale Carnegie: Don’t worry about things you can’t do anything about. That’s why I skim the news headlines, and read just enough to know what someone’s talking about if they ask me about it.
What in the World Wednesday? « Witty Words
Jun 13, 2012 @ 06:10:17
[…] “4 Tips to Lasting Happiness” @ Marcy Kennedy […]
Jun 13, 2012 @ 08:37:17
Aww, thank you so much for the award, Marcy. This definately made me happy 😀
I loved your happiness tips. Being with cheerful people always works for me. My triggers are little me time alone to read or be online. And chocolate, an endorphin kick starter.
I’ve found that happiness is a journey, not a destination. Do things that you love and enjoy the ride and the moment.
Jun 20, 2012 @ 21:12:25
Dear Marcy –
Thank you so much for honoring me with an award that means that I bring some sunshine & smiles in your life for supporting you and your blog by commenting regularly. (I’ll tell you why it has taken me a while to get back to you on my blog post.) Since I have known you for the past several months, I have felt your support of me, my writing, and my blogging. YOU have supported me & brought many smiles and sunshine to my face! (I need the sunshine for the Vitamin D!) 😀
Sending you my best –
Monique