5 Basics About Dialogue You Need to Know
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
“Dialogue is conversation–nothing more, nothing less” (Gloria Kempton).
A couple months back when I took a survey on what you wanted me to write about, one of the topics you asked me to cover was dialogue. So today I’m kicking off a new craft series.
Through the series, I’ll cover ways to add variety to your dialogue, handling some of the most common challenges in writing dialogue (like dialect), the purpose dialogue needs to serve in a scene to make the cut, and how to write dialogue unique to your characters. But first we need to tackle the basics of beats, tags, and punctuation. Get them wrong and you can ruin an otherwise well-written scene (and mark yourself as an amateur).
(1) Choose the Correct Form of Punctuation
Improper punctuation of dialogue is one of the most common mistakes I see in manuscripts I edit and critique.
Use a comma at the end of a segment of dialogue (even a complete sentence) when followed by a tag.
Example: “I hate cinnamon jelly beans,” Marcy said.
Use a question mark without a comma for a question. (This applies to exclamation marks too.)
Example: “Do you like cinnamon jelly beans?” Marcy asked.
I could have replaced “asked” with “said” here and the punctuation would remain the same.
If a tag is dividing a sentence, use a comma at the end of the first section of dialogue (even if the comma wouldn’t normally go there in the same sentence if it wasn’t dialogue) and use a comma after the tag.
Example: “I hate cinnamon jelly beans,” Marcy said, “because they burn my tongue.”
Use a period after a tag when the first segment of dialogue is a complete sentence.
Example: “I hate cinnamon jelly beans,” Marcy said. “I refuse to eat them.”
Use a dash when dialogue is cut off or interrupted. Do not add any other punctuation.
Example:
“It wasn’t my—”
“Enough excuses.”
Use an ellipsis for dialogue that fades away.
Example: “I just . . .” She wrapped her arms around her stomach. “I thought he loved me.”
Use exclamation marks sparingly! They’re usually a sign that you’re trying to bolster weak dialogue. They’re also distracting!! (I’m wagging a finger at myself right now. I know they’re bad, but I do so love to use them.)
Don’t use colons or semi-colons in your dialogue at all. While this might seem like an arbitrary rule, colons and semi-colons just look unnatural in dialogue. For the most part, you should avoid them in your fiction entirely. The old joke is that you’re allowed one semi-colon per career, so use it wisely.
Punctuation always goes inside the quotation marks in North America. If you’re not in North America, check some of the traditionally published books on your shelf to see where they place punctuation.
(2) Use a Tag or a Beat, But Not Both
A tag is a word such as “said” or “asked.” A beat is a piece of action used in place of a tag.
The point of a tag is to let the reader know who’s saying what. If you’ve shown them who’s talking through a beat, you don’t need to also tell them through a tag. It’s awkward and wordy to use both. (About one time out of 100 you can break this rule for effect.)
Wrong: “Your dog looks like an alien,” my brother said, patting Luna on the head.
Right: My brother patted Luna on the head. “Your dog looks like an alien.”
Right: “Your dog looks like an alien,” my brother said.
(3) F-A-D (Feelings/Thoughts-Action-Dialogue)
Another common mistake is to place your beat (the action) after your dialogue. Beats almost always come before dialogue. (I’ll talk about the exception next week.)
I can feel you rebelling already against the idea that you need to follow a particular order of feeling/thoughts, then action, then dialogue when you write. If you don’t follow this pattern though, your writing will feel off to your readers because you’ll unintentionally violate the law of cause coming before effect (or action coming before reaction). In life, which fiction imitates, there’s a natural order to things.
In life, we either have an emotional reaction or a mental reaction to an event first. It happens quickly. We see a gun, fear shoots through our body, and we think I don’t want to die. These emotions or thoughts cause us to act. Sometimes an action can be almost unconscious, a knee jerk reaction to your feelings or thoughts. Finally we speak because speech is externalizing what’s going on inside. Speech, even when you’re angry, generally takes longer and requires more mental engagement. It’s a rational reaction.
Wrong: “I don’t know why he would steal the cinnamon jelly beans.” Emily shrugged.
Right: Emily shrugged. “I don’t know why he would steal the cinnamon jelly beans.”
I learned the acronym F-A-D from agent Evan Marshall’s book The Marshall Plan for Novel Writing.
(4) Avoid Creativity In Your Tags
When you have a character hiss, growl, beg, demand, or (insert another descriptor here) a sentence, you’re violating the “show don’t tell” principle. It’s usually a sign of weak dialogue. If you feel like you need to use a tag other than said, asked, and occasionally, whispered or shouted for the reader to understand your meaning, you need to rewrite your dialogue and the beats around it to make it stronger and clearer.
Trying to get creative with your tags also comes with other consequences. Said and asked are nearly invisible to readers. Our minds skip over them. More creative tags aren’t, so they can quickly become distracting and annoying.
They’re also impossible. Go ahead. Try to hiss or growl a word. I dare you.
(5) Place Your Tags/Beats Strategically
Always write John said, never said John. You’ll often find the latter in classic literature, but it went out of style decades ago. And this is one style that won’t be coming back.
When you have long passages of dialogue, it’s usually best to either begin with a beat so readers know who’s talking before they start, or place a beat or tag at the first natural pause.
Example: “We have come to witness our finest warriors compete,” Penthesilea said. “Scythia offers their best to us, so we offer them no less. Six stand ready today. We need only three.”
What’s your greatest struggle when it comes to writing dialogue? And, the real question, do you like cinnamon jelly beans?
I hope you’ll check out the newly released mini-books in my Busy Writer’s Guides series–Strong Female Characters and How to Write Faster–both currently available for 99 cents.
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Photo Credit: Ilker from www.sxc.hu
Aug 30, 2012 @ 12:51:52
You have done such a service to everyone! As a reader, you pointed out the things that cause me to put down a book and quit reading. It’s all the yelling, shouting, and saying surprisingly. Ugh. Can’t do it! Sometimes when I see those posters about all the different ways to say “said”, I want to take them down. “said” is all we need in fiction, really. And thanks for the punctuation lesson. That’s the one that really gets me. I could use for on that and other formatting type of issues. Oh, and the apostrophe! Just today I had to write a whole new sentence because I couldn’t figure out where the apostrophe went. 🙂
Aug 30, 2012 @ 12:59:04
I’ll add apostrophes (and other formatting) to my list 🙂 I’ve had a request for commas as well. Where to put them and where not to put them seems to be a big struggle. (Unfortunately, commas are also the most complicated part of grammar and punctuation in my opinion.)
Aug 30, 2012 @ 13:18:17
I never tire reading about what it takes to write well. Sometimes, I think I’ve got it, and then, poof it’s gone. I’m one who needs help with commas and em-dashes.
Thanks for another excellent post! 🙂
Aug 30, 2012 @ 22:01:50
You’re welcome 🙂 I find the theory behind writing infinitely fascinating, and I really love trying to make it practical for others. I don’t find it useful to learn about a concept unless we also know how to execute it. I have a feeling you’re the same way, and that’s why you sometimes feel like concepts slip away from you. You understand the theory and are working on finding the way that best works for you to put it into practice.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 14:04:41
I have to watch getting too wordy, and using said when I could have used an action tag. But then I also want to use words like hissed, growled, etc.
Great reminders, Marcy!
Aug 30, 2012 @ 22:02:32
My first drafts often have the same problem. I’ll have both a dialogue tag and a beat, and then I have to tighten it up later.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 16:15:22
Great recap about the dialogue rules, Marcy. I am sometimes guilty of having my F-A-Ds the wrong way around. But these are all easy to fix during the revision.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 21:56:08
They are indeed 🙂 I find that fixing the F-A-D mistakes makes a huge difference in how smooth and nature a scene reads. Strange how much of a difference such a tiny thing makes.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 16:50:51
Very useful topic Marcy. I’ve been told dialogue is where my strength is in writing, and felt the urge to get pad and paper and take notes while reading this. I especially appreciate the F A D thing. A lot of my writing lately was the opposite of what you suggested, and I couldn’t put my finger on why it just didn’t sound right. Think I have an idea now 😉
Looking forward to the future articles, especially adding in dialects and accents. I’d be very interested in what you have to say on ways to give each character a unique voice (beyond just different dialects and accents).
Aug 30, 2012 @ 21:57:48
I have the unique character voices post written already, and it was my favorite to do. I think that’s because my strength is characters. I have an innate curiosity for what makes people tick.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 19:52:04
Hello Marcy –
I struggle with dialogues in general: creating believable dialogue and also the grammar/basics of dialogues. Beacause most of my troubles have been writing the actual dialogue, I have not thought much about dialogue grammar and other basics. Thanks so much, Marcy, for this post that I can add to my Evernote notebook on dialogue. I definitely don’t have anything like this.
The mistake I consistently have made is being creative in my tags. In not wanting to use a verb & adverb, I have tried using “strong” verbs. But now I hear it is better to keep it simple. It is confusing because I seem to read different things in different places. I know there is no right answer per se. I guess the best thing for me to do is what expresses the emotion at the time without being a clear interruption to the flow.
Thanks –
Monique
@moniqueliddle
p.s. I don’t like cinnamon jellybeans – although I love cinnamon! 🙂
Aug 30, 2012 @ 20:15:37
Dialogue is my absolute favorite thing about writing <3 My drafts are full of conversations between floating heads because I love it so much. I do have a tendency to "growl" though 😉
Aug 30, 2012 @ 22:38:18
I love it, Marcy!! I’m going to refer back to this as I revise over the next few weeks. 🙂
Aug 30, 2012 @ 22:52:56
Thanks, Marcy. I’ve been working dialogue this week, so this was helpful. I have to go find those “hissed” sentences now. 😉
What do you do with paragraphs of dialogue from the same person? I’ve seen some authors leave off the end quotation mark and then start the next paragraph with another beginning quotation mark.
It’s probably better to avoid the long-winded remarks, but they can be useful, too.
Aug 30, 2012 @ 22:57:44
If you have more than one paragraph of dialogue, then yes, you’d leave off the end quote from the first paragraph but include an opening quote on the next paragraph.
That said, even long-winded remarks shouldn’t go for more than a paragraph without something breaking them up. Use some action or internal monologue, something, or you’re really risking losing the reader.
Aug 31, 2012 @ 18:56:03
I love you, Marcy. No colons or semi-colons? YES!!! (yeah, I know, exclamation points…and too many 🙂 ) My spelling/grammar check often suggests I replace a comma with a semi-colon, and I hate them. Just one of those things I’ve never quite understood. Definitely bookmarked this, so leave it up always, please. 🙂
When I’m not sure whether to use a comma or not, I read the sentence out loud. Right or wrong, if there’s a natural pause when spoken, I add it to what’s written.
Yes. I LOVE cinnamon jelly beans. In fact, I only like cinnamon and orange, but cinnamon is my favorite. 🙂
Sep 01, 2012 @ 01:45:12
This is the best dialogue lesson ever. I don’t have a problem with writing dialogue — it’s my favorite, but I always have a problem with action and dialogue. Thanks
Sep 02, 2012 @ 00:07:50
Hi Marcy
This is an excellent summary, right at the time I needed a reference 🙂
I hate Word because it’s always trying to stuff semicolons into every sentence.
I never knew the John said/said John guideline. I vary them from time to time, partly because I had no idea there was a general preference, and partly because sometimes it feels right. However, I feel a search and replace coming on!
Cheers!
Sep 07, 2012 @ 04:57:02
A most helpful post, Marcy. Thank you. I will keep this one for reference.
Sorry, but I don’t really like jelly beans in any flavor 🙁
Sep 07, 2012 @ 13:10:32
Hehe. The friend I’m co-writing a novel with doesn’t either. She says it has something to do with the crunch and the squish together.
Apr 01, 2014 @ 09:42:22
Thisis very interesting and I’ve shared it with my writing group.
I didn’t know about the John said / said John guideline and I’ve noticed that some well known contemporary novelists use ‘said John’ at least sometimes,
Apr 02, 2014 @ 14:29:11
I’m glad the post helped. One thing to remember about writing is that very few things are unbreakable rules. Most things are best practice guidelines that apply 99% of the time. Occasionally, it’s okay to switch up John said/said John if it improves the cadence of the sentence or if there’s some other important stylistic reason. However, if you’re not doing it consciously, for a well-thought-out, specific purpose, then you need to stick with “John said.”