Why Does Fear Exist?
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
Fear can kill us in more ways than one.
In the Star Trek: Voyager episode “The Thaw,” the crew of the starship Voyager finds a planet that suffered an ecological disaster. Five of the aliens who lived there placed themselves into a timed stasis, set to release them when the surface was safe for them to live on again. The only problem is, when Voyager finds them, their scheduled time to emerge is four years in the past.
The crew brings the stasis pods on board Voyager to see what went wrong. Two of the aliens are dead of heart attacks, and the other three should have emerged, but for some reason, they haven’t. The problem isn’t mechanical, and they can’t wake them. They also can’t simply shut down the stasis pods without causing brain damage because all the aliens’ minds are connected to the central computer.
Two Voyager officers use the extra stasis pods to go in and see what’s happening. They find that the virtual reality where the aliens’ consciousness lives while they’re in stasis is pulling from their own fears to create Fear, a cruel, horrifying being. The two aliens who died were killed because Fear guillotined them, quite literally scaring them to death.
Fear refuses to release the surviving aliens—and now one of the Voyager officers—because, without them, he will cease to exist.
To rescue them, Captain Kathryn Janeway needs to figure out what it is that Fear wants. Why does fear exist?
“Why do people enjoy dangerous sports?” she asks Voyager’s doctor. “Why, after all these centuries, do children still ride on rollercoasters?”
She has a revelation about the answer, and she convinces Fear to trade her for the hostages.
“You show remarkable trust, Captain,” Fear says when she enters his world. “How could you be so sure I’d keep my word?”
“I’ve known fear. It’s a very healthy thing most of the time. You warn us of danger. Remind us of our limits. Protect us from carelessness. I’ve learned to trust fear.”
As Janeway’s consciousness filters into the system, Fear realizes she’s tricked him. She’s not actually in a stasis chamber at all. They’d found another way to let him feel her mind without putting her in danger of becoming trapped.
She tricked him because she realized the real reason for fear’s existence. “You know as well as I do,” she says, “that fear only exists for one purpose. To be conquered.”
It seems so simple. Whether we conquer fear by removing the threat, backing away from the limit we were about to break, or understanding, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said in his first inaugural address, “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” fear only exists to be conquered. It was never meant to be an emotion we lived with constantly.
The unhealthy type of fear (that doesn’t warn us of danger or exceeded limits) is the hardest to conquer. Fear was, quite literally, all in the aliens’ heads, but they couldn’t control their emotions enough to get rid of him. He held them prisoner—just as our fear, fear created by our minds rather than by reality, so often holds us prisoner.
And just like Fear killed the aliens, our fear can kill our dreams.
In his speech, Roosevelt defines this type of fear as “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
So what can we do to make sure unhealthy fear doesn’t stop us?
Learn to recognize when fear is hiding behind the mask of other emotions. Fear is sneaky. When you snap at your spouse because they were late getting home, you’re probably not actually angry. You were afraid something bad happened to them. But they don’t know that, and your fear just hurt your relationship. Until we recognize fear, we can’t deal with the root cause and stop it from hurting us. We can’t conquer it.
Let go of your illusion of safety. I’m a hypochondriac (and very embarrassed to admit it, actually). I routinely believe I have cancer, a blood clot, food poisoning, or a host of other problems most people have probably never heard of. Does fearing them actually keep me safe from them? Nope. Sometimes fearing something has zero value.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” – Helen Keller
Recognize that failure can be a beautiful thing as long as we use it to learn. Many of us let fear of failure hold us back. If you try to reach your goal and fail, you’re back in the same place as if you’d never tried. So not trying doesn’t protect you; it keeps you stuck. In fact, if you don’t try, you’re actually further behind because you haven’t learned the lessons failure taught.
Have a contingency plan. I get laughed at sometimes because I’m extremely detail-oriented and I have contingency plans for my contingency plans. But I’m rarely caught off guard with something unexpected. I’m not afraid or stressed out because I know that if something goes wrong, I have a plan to deal with it, and I know it won’t take me long to recover. My much-mocked plans are actually my secret source of confidence.
Have you let fear hold you back? What’s your best tip for combating unhealthy fear?
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For an excellent post on how fear can be a gift, check out August McLaughlin’s Lifesaving Resolution #4: Trusting Your Instincts.
Image Credit: Lena Povrzenic (from www.sxc.hu)
Sep 17, 2012 @ 11:53:24
My favorite bit of Marcy Wisdom shared in this post was, “fear only exists to be conquered.”
Sure. I have fears. Some I won’t act on because they don’t hold me back from achieving my dreams. Skydiving? Bungee Jumping? The are so not on my list of things I’d pay to do.
On the topic of Bungee Jumping, I exercise to lift those sagging muscles in certain places. Why would I subject them to boing! boing! abuse?
I have finally conquered *knocks wood* my fear of failure on the novel currently in progress. I. Have. To. Do. This. I will have it ready for Golden Heart 2013.
That fear of failure was debilitating far longer than it should have been b/c of two prior novels that didn’t sell. Then, I reread them and realized how far I’ve advanced in my craft. Knowledge became power. Thanks for a great kick-start to the week, Marcy.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 13:33:28
Some fears I’ll never work to conquer either! Skydiving and bungee jumping make my list too, as do tarantulas. I’d much rather direct my attention toward conquering fears that will get me closer to my goals.
I’m cheering you on from my side of the internet to finish. I have a couple novels hidden away on my hard drive that I thought were awesome when I wrote them…not so much 🙂 They deserved to fail, and now that I can see that, just like you, I’m drawing courage from it.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 12:02:56
Oh, I so needed this today! I realized that I have such fear of taking new risks. A year ago before I started blogging, I was terrified to try. Because, what if I got it wrong? I was scared of moving, and making the wrong decision. Now I’m scared of sending out queries and submitting pieces of writing. Now I know it’s because I need to conquer my fear. I’m just scared I’ll do it wrong, and like you said, it’s ok to make a mistake. Thanks for that!
Sep 17, 2012 @ 13:40:28
When I read some of your stories about the things you’ve already done in your life and are doing, I admire your courage.
Blogging, and especially moving here to my own blog, was a big risk for me and a big step toward conquering some fears. I like to fail privately, quietly, and I don’t like anyone to know about it. Blogging puts me out where I can’t hide. But so far, it’s helped me get to know some amazing people that I otherwise would have never “met.”
Sep 17, 2012 @ 13:58:21
Great post, Marcy. I’ve been a fan of fear since reading Gavin de Becker’s book, “The Gift of Fear.” We can definitely be crippled by it if we let it go too far, but without it, we might never realize that a creepy guy is following us, or that an associate’s seemingly innocent gesture is meant to harm us.
I’ve relied on fear a lot, from that instinctual and scientific standpoint. It kept me from getting involved in drugs and other dangerous activities in NYC as a teen. It also kept me from learning how to swim though, until my mid-twenties. Deep water still terrifies me, but overcoming my fear of letting go and trusting the water (to a point ;)) helped me believe that anything is possible.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:02:42
I just started reading The Gift of Fear, and I can’t get something he says out of my mind. We’re not meant to live with fear the same way we live with happiness or sadness. If we live with fear that way, we won’t have anything left to tell us when we really need to be afraid. Fear is always meant to be dealt with so that we can move on.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 14:06:42
Great post. Fear can definitely be crippling, but it is so important in keeping us safe and teaching us to trust our instincts.
I have a pretty strong fear of failure, but facing it has gone a long way in alleviating some of it. I still worry about falling on my face with this writing thing, but I think I’ve got a better shot than I did a year ago, if that makes sense. IMO, the best thing we can do with fear is to face it head on.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:17:37
I’m struggling with my own fear of failure right now too. I know how important it is to always put out quality writing, and so I want to start off strong rather than risk launching too soon. Then I realized that if I let that fear control me, I’ll never publish because no book will ever seem good enough.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 15:27:08
I love it when a post like this flies to my inbox, right exactly when I need it.
Sometimes, to overcome the insidious fears I do something I’m physically afraid of — like painting the trim on the peak of our house. It literally makes me quake, yet, I feel if I can overcome that, well, then, I can write this next scene, darnit!
Maybe, I don’t have to, actually, put my life in danger to overcome my fear of writing…hmm, what a concept.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:22:04
I’m so glad it came at the right time for you. I try to write about things that are on my mind with the thinking that if it’s on my mind, it probably will be on someone else’s too.
Had to laugh at how you overcome your fear of writing. I think you might be wise to try something a little less dangerous 🙂
Sep 17, 2012 @ 17:22:35
Great post Marcy. I’ve learned that most of what I fear is not real and simply part of my reptillian brain trying to stop me from moving forward in my life. As long as I know that, it’s amazing what I can do. Right now, I’m wrestling with some fear about feedback. What I know from past experiences is that as soon as I stop being afraid, the problem goes away. Totally and completely. My fear creates the problem and then I live in it. Or not.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:24:39
I often find myself paralyzed that way. In The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, he points out that real fear forces us to act to survive. What we think is fear sometimes actually isn’t. That false fear creates our problems. I thought it was a very interesting theory.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:30:02
I often find myself paralyzed by fear that way. In The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, he points out that real fear forces us to act to survive. What we think is fear sometimes actually isn’t. That false fear creates our problems. I thought it was a very interesting theory.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:33:52
I find fear often paralyzes me that way. In The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, he points out that real fear forces us to act to survive. What we think is fear sometimes actually isn’t. That false fear creates our problems. I thought it was a very interesting theory.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 22:45:55
Hey Marcy, great post. Just remember, fear is useful; it tells you that you’re alive, makes your senses keener and your mind sharper. It doesn’t mean stop everything, it just means proceed carefully.
Motto: Face the fear and do it anyway!”
Happy days!
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:31:33
Words of wisdom 🙂 I try to listen to fear rather than let it control me. I’m not always successful, but I try. And sometimes, when it could be a matter of life and death, it’s wise to let fear give the orders.
Sep 17, 2012 @ 23:54:50
I love the quote from Helen Keller. Words to live by.
People are afraid of rollercoasters? Who knew? Best invention ever.
Bring on the fear for I shall conquer!!
Great post, Marcy.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:29:41
I’m terrified of rollercoasters 🙂 Of course, I get severe motion sickness so that has something to do with it 😉
I love the quote by Helen Keller too. It helps me keep things in perspective. There’s only so much I can control, and I have to let go of what I can’t.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 00:26:54
We do create our own fears. I love that Janeway says that fear exists only to be conquered. The only power it has is what we give it. I prefer not to give it any–until a bug crawls across the floor. LOL. Great post!
Sep 18, 2012 @ 01:32:27
Haha – for me it would be spiders *shudder*
I know they’re probably more afraid of me than I am of them, but there’s just something about them…
Sep 18, 2012 @ 03:48:24
Love this post, Marcy. I agree, fear exists to be conquered. I understand where you are coming from. I think I’m in the same place. I don’t want to put my work out there too soon either. I want to make sure it’s strong enough and ready for the next step. The process can be agonizing but it’s worth it.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 22:48:24
Agreed. I’m a believer in starting how you want to continue. I want to start off producing high-quality work because that’s how I want to continue.
Sep 18, 2012 @ 17:51:26
Fear (and pain) are helpful, but often their lessons are learned in hindsight. I have a mild form of PTSD, so fear and I have been constant companions at times. All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to it. As Samwise would say: There’s nothing for it!
Sep 18, 2012 @ 22:47:13
PTSD can be a tricky monster. Chris is recovered now, but he suffered from moderate (in my uneducated opinion anyway – I don’t know how a doctor would classify it) PTSD for years post-Iraq. I remember one time we were in a museum in DC, and we had to leave before we’d seen it all because the museum was too crowded. His brain was trying to do threat assessment, and it was overwhelming him. He still had some horrible nightmares in the early months of our marriage.
Sep 19, 2012 @ 00:26:30
I’m a big contingency planner. I have a Plan A and a Plan B and often a Plan C. Then I’m good to go. I have been accused of being Obsessive-Compulsive with all my planning, but it’s exactly what I need to do to go into a tricky situation with confidence.
Great post, Marcy!
Sep 19, 2012 @ 01:19:22
I could hug you right now 🙂 It’s so nice to hear about someone else who understands my desire to make contingency plans.
I find that once I’ve made my plans, even if something comes up that I didn’t plan for, I can handle it with ease because of how well I understand the situation. As you said, it gives me confidence I wouldn’t otherwise have had.
Sep 20, 2012 @ 18:55:07
I’m all about hugs. Here’s one back at ya. {{{HUG}}}
Yes! Even if the situation ends up going in a different direction entirely, I have analyzed it enough to feel confident I can handle whatever happens.
Sep 19, 2012 @ 12:47:44
wonderful post. Fear is a good warning system, but not beneficial if it paralyzes.
Heather
Sep 21, 2012 @ 14:08:29
Remember this one? “Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration” (Frank Hebert, Dune)
I hate it when fear sneaks up at 3 a.m., and keeps me awake. It has special powers when I’m groggy. Death! Failure! Is that gas I smell? Things that, in the morning make me say, huh??
Great post and conversation following. I appreciated The Gift of Fear as well. Made me realize that sometimes I might be a little too dismissive of my own instincts. PTSD, bungee cord jumping, contingency planners, kept wanting to jump in and say yeah! yeah! yeah! Nice job with your own blog.