How Much Responsibility Should We Take for Others’ Actions?
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
How would you feel if you were being held legally responsible for someone else’s actions?
In the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Random Thoughts,” the crew of the starship Voyager is visiting the Mari homeworld. The Mari are a telepathic people who’ve virtually eradicated crime by outlawing violent thoughts.
A man bumps into Voyager’s chief engineer, B’Elanna Torres, while she’s on the surface negotiating a trade. Being half-Klingon and having the temper Klingons are infamous for, B’Elanna thinks about hurting the man who bumped into her. A few minutes later, he beats up another man in the main square and claims he doesn’t know why he did it.
B’Elanna is arrested for harboring violent thoughts. The punishment is a dangerous medical procedure called an engrammatic purge, which is designed to remove the offending images from her mind. The equipment isn’t designed for Klingons and could leave B’Elanna with permanent brain damage.
Captain Janeway argues with the Mari officer that B’Elanna can’t be held accountable for something someone else did.
“His mind was contaminated by the image,” the officer says, “and it resulted in a loss of control. He may have committed the physical act, but it was instigated by you.”
B’Elanna barely restrains herself from going toe-to-toe with the officer. “Where we come from, people are responsible for their own actions.”
I can see both sides of the argument.
In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell talks about people being “infected by examples.” Studies have shown that when a suicide is highly publicized, the suicide rate skyrockets for a few days after. The effect is so powerful it even determines the mode of suicide. For example, if a single person kills themselves by driving into a pole, that kind of suicide increases. But if a person commits a murder-suicide instead, that kind of suicide increases. To someone who’s already troubled, another person’s actions make it more acceptable for them to act in a deviant way.
Gladwell gives an example we’ve all had experience with—jay-walking. You’re standing at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change…right up until someone crosses against the light. Somehow their law-breaking gives you permission to break the law, and you’re trotting across the road after them.
While I don’t think B’Elanna (or any of us) should be held legally responsible for someone else’s actions, I wonder if we don’t have some moral responsibility for the way what we do affects others.
Yes, we’re all ultimately responsible for the choices we make. None of us has the right to blame someone else for what we’ve done. But, on some level, aren’t we also responsible for how our actions hurt, help, or push someone else toward a specific path?
What do you think? Should we feel any responsibility for how our actions influence the actions of others? Or is what they do 100% on their heads?
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Image Credit: Nicole Shelby from Stock.Xchnge
Oct 15, 2012 @ 12:45:40
In the US, there is a criminal law called felony murder. Assume you and a friend agree to rob a convenience store. You are the driver and sit in the car. Friend goes in the store to steal the goods. Friend gets mad and kills a customer. You in the car are likely held responsible for the murder as well. You in the car didn’t do the killing, but you helped with the robbery, so you may be held responsible for the murder too. My suspicion is that morally the driver might feel responsible, but the driver would likely deny legal responsibility.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 12:59:32
Really excellent point. And in that case, I think the driver should be held equally responsible. They may not have pulled the trigger, but they planned a crime that resulted in a death.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 13:11:00
Very interesting post. I have a couple thoughts on this. First, people like to throw out the phrase “No one can make you feel anything you don’t want to feel.” I hate that phrase with a passion. What you say and do can definitely influence another person’s feelings and cause them to do things they may not normally do. That’s why bullying in schools is such a big issue. Those bullies are causing others to FEEL terrible about themselves, which could lead to that person committing suicide or, worse, murder. That is definitely at least partly on the bullies.
Another issue I have is with the media. I’m convinced that the general public really doesn’t need to know about 90% of the crap they put on the news. I’m not saying hide it, but it doesn’t need to be shoved down our throats. All the violence and rape and other horrible things we see each and every day isn’t good for us. At the very least, it makes us not care about our fellow man anymore. And I’m sure it affects some people much stronger than that and could lead them to do things they never would have done in the first place.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:39:47
Agreed! With everything.
This is why I don’t watch the news — won’t watch it. I’ll read the newspaper – it seems less sensationalistic.
Marcy, another thoughtful post, well done for making me think!
Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:53:34
I wonder if that phrase wouldn’t be better if it said something like, “No one can control your emotions but you”? We’re always going to feel something when we’re hurt or bullied or betrayed. But then we need to do our best to get control of them.
I don’t watch the news either. I used to, and it was so depressing and time consuming, I stopped. If anything really important happens, I hear about it on social media or through my husband anyway.
Oct 17, 2012 @ 03:58:13
Yeah, we take in very little news in our house and our children take in next to none. We’re very careful what we expose them to. We make sure they’re not ignorant of important current events but we avoid letting them see all the violence on the news.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 13:28:06
What a great question! The Bible has so much to say about this, like ‘doing all we do for the glory of God,’‘not putting a stumbling block in someone’s way,’ and ‘always considering others as more important than ourselves’ to point out a few. These are at the core of our Christianity. If this truly is our motivation then we simply ‘want’ to take responsibility for the way we influence others.
Sometimes we leave accidental casualties along the way, though, and I think that’s why Jesus tells the offended person to go to the offender. There is such an opportunity there for reconciliation; for trust to blossom—before gossip and slander have a chance to take root.
We rub shoulders, so to speak, with so many in this age of instant communication and timeless travel—how could we NOT to bump into others from time to time? How could we NOT influence others either positively or negatively? So much here to mull over! From minor offenses to life-altering trauma—definitely a topic that would take a book to adequately cover—will enjoy the different perspectives.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 14:34:13
That’s a huge and important question, Marcy. I think that at some point, we should all take responsibility for our actions. A child, for example, has to learn right from wrong. As adults, we often know. When we find ourselves in situations we can’t control, such as addictions, we’re responsible for seeking help.
We should also learn to forgive ourselves and others, I believe.
As a side note, this post made me want to watch Star Wars. LOL I’ve never watched a full episode. (Don’t hate me. ;-P) Perhaps it’s like foods we deem “gross” as kids, because of our impression. Should I grow up and watch Star Wars already?!?
Oct 15, 2012 @ 14:37:06
Whoops! Fingers are too eager. 😉
Regarding others’ actions… Using the same example I used above, if we know a loved one is struggling with alcoholism yet keep beer on hand anyway, yes. I think we’re somewhat responsible.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:57:50
My husband and I have been working our way through Star Trek: Deep Space Nine lately, and my mom has watched a couple of episodes with us. She used to talk all the time about how she didn’t like all that science fiction-alien stuff, but now that she’s watched 4-5 episodes, she’s changed her mind. She admitted the other day, “I kind of like it now because I’ve gotten to know and care about the characters.” One of my missions in life is complete! 😉
Oct 15, 2012 @ 14:48:24
I think as good citizens we should do no harm to others. Like August’s example – don’t keep alcohol around if there’s a recovering alcoholic in the house. There are a lot of television shows I would enjoy watching but don’t because of my husband’s past addiction to pornography.
There’s a line though between helping and enabling.
What about the child abuser who says he didn’t know any better because he was abused? Because he watched his father abuse his mother and sisters. Does that absolve him of wrongdoing? As adults you make your own choices – and some people use the past (hurt, abuse, other crimes) to rationalize what they’re doing in the present and dictate the future. They’re the only ones to own that.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:21:41
Just deleted a huge wall of text responce to this…way to rambly/ranty. In short, I believe firmly in personal responcibility. You never really know what you would do in any iven situation, or what you could put up with…but just thinking about being in a society like that? I don’t believe I would be part of it for very long. Either in that I would find somewhere else to live, or I would become a terrorist and be eventually put down.
Jun 13, 2015 @ 23:04:39
Thanks Chantielle that msg “,,he didn’t come out of the wob a child abuser he was taught how to do it’ gave me hope I think h
PS why am I supposed to give my website details whaat has that got to do with
Cara
Jun 14, 2015 @ 18:11:54
You don’t have to include your website details if you don’t want. It’s there because (1) I don’t know how to remove it, and (2) I often like to visit the websites of people who’ve commented on mine 🙂
Oct 15, 2012 @ 15:50:35
I believe that people need to be accountable for their actions. Ultimately, you are the only one who has control over the choices you make. With that being said, circumstances, upbringing, stress… there are an infinite number of external pressures that can cause a person to make a decision that isn’t entirely their own.
“What about the child abuser who says he didn’t know any better because he was abused? Because he watched his father abuse his mother and sisters. Does that absolve him of wrongdoing?” No, it doesn’t. But he wasn’t the only one responsible for those actions. We’re the product of our environment. That man didn’t come out of the womb a child abuser, he was taught how to be one, perhaps unconsciously. If he were raised in a different household, his life would have likely been very different. It’s not fair, but that’s life.
It’s like the drunk driver who kills an innocent pedestrian. Why is it that the establishment that served him the alcohol is also accountable? Didn’t the driver make the decision to keep drinking, to get behind the wheel? Shouldn’t he then be the only one accountable for his actions?
We’re responsible for ourselves, but we’re also responsible for each other. That’s the definition of humanity.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 16:03:41
When I was in university, my best friend was killed by a drunk driver. It happened in Michigan, and the case was highly publicized there at the time, but what got little attention was the role the man’s girlfriend played in his actions. This was his third DUI, and not only was his license suspended, but his car had been impounded. The only way he was able to get a vehicle that night was because his girlfriend loaned him her car. I always felt that she should have faced some consequences for the part she played, but there’s no law against loaning a drunk your car.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 16:15:12
In my mind, the enabler is just as responsible as the person who commits the action. We learn from the best, after all.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 16:59:12
Interesting post! I see personal responsibility going in both directions. Yes, people are responsible for their own actions, but that means that I have to be responsible for my actions. Being responsible for my actions means I shouldn’t incite, bully, cajole, or otherwise convince others to do harm.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 18:09:28
I guess I see responsibility as a two way street. I’m responsible for my own actions. That includes things I say or do. If something I say causes harm to another, I’m responsible for those words. I am not responsible for their reaction to my words…they are. I control my own reactions, they control theirs. They, in return, are responsible for whatever they say or do in response. In other words, we are all responsible to and for ourselves, AND to and for each other.
At least, in theory.
Now my head is going to explode. This is way too deep a topic for a gloomy Monday!
Oct 15, 2012 @ 20:42:42
Great post Marcy, and a seriously thought provoking question.
I believe everyone is responsible for their actions and decisions. Period. However, I also believe we are responsible for using caution when we may be influencing others.
This is one topic where there may truly be fifty shades of grey.
Oh, Marcy, the blue is on the needles. 🙂
Oct 15, 2012 @ 20:54:39
What an interesting post, Marcy. So many different answers to this question form the foundation for our legal systems around the globe. In the US, we generally default to control = responsibility. If we have control, then we have responsibility, but if someone else has control, they have responsibility. And sometimes, more than one person has control, as in the case of Felony Murder. Both robbers had to agree to rob and engage in the robbery and by implication, accepted the potential consequences of that crime. Otherwise, the opportunity for murder wouldn’t have existed. And without the robbery, the murder wouldn’t have happened. Other times, an act of control sets other acts in motion, such as your example of loaning a car to someone who has a drinking problem. In those situations, we ask where the chain of causation was broken. In the case of the drunk driver, I’d think the answer would depend on what the girlfriend knew about the driver’s immediate plans. Under the law, past behavior is not proof of future behavior. Meaning that simply because the boyfriend had driven drunk in the past, that didn’t necessarily mean he would do so again. But there is a law against loaning your car negligently in Michigan and most US jurisdictions. Generally, I agree with these concepts. Morally? It’s a much closer call.
Oct 15, 2012 @ 22:06:35
I think each of us is responsible for our own actions – period. As my mother always said, “if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?”
If I see someone else breaking a law or doing something wrong, I’m not going to jump on their bandwagon. Likewise, if I choose to break a law (say speeding), I have no control over anyone else who chooses to follow me. If they get a ticket, or worse, get into a wreck, it is not my fault, unless I asked them to follow me, in which case I wouldn’t be speeding.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Oct 15, 2012 @ 22:49:14
You always make me think, Marcy! When I first started reading the post my instinct was that we can’t be held responsible at all. But, I know that I am totally influenced by others at the cross walk. I wonder if I think that is ok because I know I can cross without getting hurt and if no cars are coming the rule seems silly. And if I choose to follow someone else, that is my choice, my doing. I think, as I’m “talking” this through, that if we hold people responsible for the actions of others that takes away not only their responsibility, but their power. We should be encouraging people to take responsibility for the decisions and take charge of their own lives.
Oct 16, 2012 @ 02:24:04
I’m echoing what others have already said. Yes, and no. I fully believe we should think about what we do and say because it might influence others, but if I play a violent video game and then go out to kill people, the video game didn’t tell me to kill. I chose to do that. I think what people are harboring inside themselves is manifested by what they see and hear. B’Elanna’s thoughts influenced that man, but he ultimately decided to beat up someone. I think blaming B’Elanna was shifting the responsibility from himself to her, which seems very, very wrong to me. And dangerous.
Oct 16, 2012 @ 03:14:03
My philosophy is to do no harm. However, I hold myself and only myself personally responsible for all of my actions. Each thing I do every day of my life is my decision. If I commit a crime then I believe I must pay for it, not the speeder ahead of me or the jaywalker beside me. If I am going to blame others for my actions, why not take that a step further and blame God for creating all those evil, influencing people in the first place. After all, if they were not here I would be perfect.
Really, I believe each person is completely responsible for their own actions. Each of us knows right from wrong and what things we should and shouldn’t do. How can we blame someone else for our own decision to do something we know is wrong? There are far too many people who use every excuse to get out of being responsible for their actions, including suing companies, neighbors and even parents for their own lack of good judgement and control. Shame on them.
Oct 16, 2012 @ 03:54:41
I’m in the camp of being responsible for my own actions. On a spiritual level though, I think that if our actions influence others, in a positive or negative way, then we’re going to incur some ‘karma’ for that. Interesting, Diane, that “Under the law, past behavior is not proof of future behavior. Meaning that simply because the boyfriend had driven drunk in the past, that didn’t necessarily mean he would do so again.” From a purely behavioral standpoint, a behavior is more likely to be repeated the more frequently it occurs. However, I’m not at all law-savvy and don’t even want to think about making laws around that behavioral principle.
Oct 16, 2012 @ 07:28:14
I didn’t read all of the comments, but yes, I think if we have any influence (and most everyone does, even in their small worlds), we need to look at what we do…and try to live the best life we can.
On the other hand, there are too many people who use the actions of others as an excuse.
But no matter how you look at it, people ARE responsible for their own actions. I’ve never bought the fact that ‘his father abused him, therefore he can’t help abusing his children’ excuse (substitute drugs, alcohol, theft, etc…for abuse). They knew it was wrong when they were being abused…and they have a choice. If they choose wrong, it’s entirely on them. People aren’t stupid. At least in my opinion.
Oct 17, 2012 @ 03:02:26
Thought provoking post, Marcy.
Too many people expect other people to take care of them, or blame other people for their bad experiences, their behavior or ignorance.
We are each responsible for our own actions, words and emotions.
That being said, we also have a responsibility to follow the golden rule.
Oct 17, 2012 @ 03:56:46
I think it’s both. We all have full responsibility for our actions (provided we’re old enough and capable of understanding) but we also must take care how we influence others. Now, I would absolutely NOT want to see people held legally responsible for influencing others to jaywalk and such. We can’t blame our actions on others, even if they influenced us. But, we are morally responsible for how we influence others.
Oct 18, 2012 @ 01:30:54
like so many others, I say yes and no. I am responsible for what I do but I also think i have to be attentive to what I say and write for it affects others – whether I know it or not. if we each took responsibility for what came out of our mouths, the world would be a better place, I think
Oct 19, 2012 @ 21:43:24
What a juicy topic! Seeing people as “responsible for their own actions” is a useful tool, simple, straightforward, easy to understand, and the criminal justice system, which is based on it, works in it’s own fashion. I wonder though if it will it hold up under scrutiny as we understand more about our psyches?
Our moral framework is fairly primitive, based on the idea that our mind and soul float in a vat of rational thinking. I like your Star Trek example because it illustrates how complex the question is. If someone’s brain is damaged by abuse, and they lose the ability to empathize, they will probably do something horrible. Standard protocol for that kind of person is punishment. Throw ’em in jail. Sex abusers are, we know, basically incurable unless they take drugs to neutralize their perversities. That sounds like illness to me. I’m not excusing the inexcusable, just questioning how we think about it. Thre is evidence that emotions dictate what we choose to do before our conscious mind has a clue. If that’s the case, how free is our will? It is a deliciously perplexing conundrum. Good post!
Jun 13, 2015 @ 23:07:39
Very insightful