7 Strategies Villains Use to Trick Their Victims
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
In many stories, we don’t want to give away who the villain is right away. In other stories, we want the reader to know but our other characters not to. In either case, we need to drop subtle hints so that in the end, when everyone knows, it feels natural and organic.
In his book The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence, Gavin De Becker gives seven signs that tell us we might be at risk from another person. Con artists, rapists, or anyone who needs to bring down the guard of their victim for nefarious purposes will use one or all of these seven tricks against their victims.
Our readers might not consciously recognize these “tells,” but just like these signals should do in real life, they’ll make the reader’s subconscious recognize that something is wrong, that this character perhaps can’t be trusted.
Obviously, not everyone who uses one of these tactics is a villain. Context is important, as is whether one of these signals shows up alone or along with others on the list. However, everyone who uses these tactics is doing so with a goal.
Forced Teaming
The villain will use “we” or “us” statements to build premature trust. The keyword here is premature. You haven’t known them long enough for them to actually earn your trust, but when you feel like you’re in a partnership, it’s difficult to refuse the other person’s offers without feeling rude.
According to De Becker, “The detectable signal of forced teaming is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists: both of us; we’re some team; now we’ve done it; how are we going to handle this?” (55).
Charm and Niceness
A talented villain rarely seems threatening at first. They’re charming and nice. They smile. And you let your guard down because of it.
“We must learn and then teach our children,” De Becker writes, “that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait” (57).
Too Many Details
Most people who feel believed and trusted give only the necessary details when they speak. People who feel doubted add extra details to convince you, make you lose sight of the context, and, for strangers, make you feel like you know them better than you really do (and can therefore trust them).
Every type of con depends on distracting us from the obvious. – Gavin de Becker
While people can be telling the truth and still feel doubted, De Becker points out, “When people lie, even if what they say sounds credible to you, it doesn’t sound credible to them, so they keep talking” (58) after a person without a guilty conscience would have stopped.
Negative Labeling
De Becker calls this typecasting, but because it always involves a minor insult that the potential victim then feels the need to defend herself against, I think negative labeling is easier to remember.
The villain might accuse the woman of being a snob if she refuses to talk to him. He might tell her she’s too proud if she refuses his offer of help.
“You probably don’t watch the news.”
“I’m sure you don’t care about such-and-such good thing.”
It’s always a very minor slight, and his goal is to get her talking and defending herself. By doing that, he’s not only distracting her but also forcing her to engage with him.
Creating a Debt
De Becker calls this one loan sharking. The villain does something to help their potential victim. That small help—carrying a heavy bag, holding open a door, picking up something they’ve dropped—places their victim in their debt and makes it difficult for the potential victim to forcefully tell them to leave.
Unsolicited Promises
The unsolicited promise is the single best indicator that something is wrong. If someone makes an unsolicited promise, it shows they know you’re doubting them. Most people will miss this signal, but as soon as someone gives an unsolicited promise, you should ask yourself why you don’t trust the speaker.
Promises aren’t guarantees. With a guarantee, you know that if the speaker doesn’t follow through, you’ll receive compensation or the wrong they inflicted will be righted. Promises, however, “are the very hollowest instruments of speech, showing nothing more than the speaker’s desire to convince you of something” (61).
Ignoring a NO
I have a friend whose calls I’ll dodge if I know she’s going to ask me to do something I want to say no to. As awful as it sounds, I do it because she refuses to accept a simple no. She always wants to know why not and criticizes reasons she doesn’t think are good enough. She never accepts my no without an argument.
Although my friend isn’t a villain, she shares something in common with those who are. Anyone who refuses to accept a no is trying to control you.
The no’s a villain refuses to accept can be either verbal of physical. If a woman refuses to release her hold on her bag when a stranger offers to carry it for her, she’s showing him no.
When a villain ignores her no, two responses by her will mark her as an ideal victim. They’re both responses most polite women default to because of societal norms.
The first is to continuing to say no, with each refusal becoming less forceful, until she finally gives in.
The second is to negotiate. We use negotiation so regularly to soften our refusals that most women probably don’t even recognize it as negotiation anymore. De Becker’s example of a negotiation is “I really appreciate your offer, but let me try to do it on my own first.”
“Negotiations,” De Becker goes on to explain, “are about possibilities, and providing access to someone who makes you apprehensive is not a possibility you want to keep on the agenda. I encourage people to remember that ‘no’ is a complete sentence” (63).
If you missed the first post in my series on villains, you can read “How to Create a Truly Frightening Villain” here.
Have you read The Gift of Fear? Have you ever been in a situation where one of these tactics set off a voice in your head that told you to act?
Image Credit: Samuel Herrmann (from stock.xchange)
I hope you’ll check out the newly released mini-books in my Busy Writer’s Guides series–Strong Female Characters and How to Write Faster–both currently available for 99 cents.
Dec 12, 2012 @ 12:40:38
Wow, chilling tricks. Thank you for sharing. I want to apply some of these into my story.
Dec 12, 2012 @ 22:06:52
It gives me the creeps thinking about how these are used in the real world.
Dec 12, 2012 @ 14:33:30
Oh, this post brings up so much, and not just about writing. I was having a conversation with a friend the other day that dealt with a lot of these points. We were talking about men and not being a victim. My friend was raised to always be nice and that left her feeling vulnerable, especially around men. What you said about No is a really big deal. Being the only girl in the family, I have seen first hand how most men handle no. It is not seen as the end, but as a sign that they need to try harder or try a different approach. I’m not saying it as a bad thing, it just is what it is. But, we do have to remember that and be strong in our decisions. When we say no we need to mean it and stick to it. If I say no, I don’t back down. I don’t negotiate and I don’t worry about being nice. Yes, I have been called names for it, but I would rather be called a bitch than be a victim. And I have always felt the safety of having brothers because if I say no and a guy keeps trying, I know I have a brother to back me up.
The other thing this brings up for me is friendship. I hate the idea that you have a friend who won’t accept no from you. I know that everyone has their own definition of friendship, but that sure doesn’t fit with mine. I believe that you deserve better. I wonder if you have ever talked with the friend about how she won’t accept no. Maybe she doesn’t even realize she is doing it? Or maybe she doesn’t know how wrong it is to treat someone that way. Maybe it is something she would work on if she knew? For me, it’s just a part of basic respect. We all have the right to say no without any explanation. And the people who love us should respect that.
Sorry to be so long-winded. Great post, again!
Dec 12, 2012 @ 22:15:06
I’m chronically polite. If you bump into me, I’ll be the one apologizing. One thing that really hit me hard in The Gift of Fear was that it’s not wrong to be rude if you’re a woman alone in a situation where you could potentially be in danger. Maybe that man who approaches you is a good guy who genuinely just wants to help, but maybe he’s not. And it’s much better to be rude to the nice guy than it is to end up raped or murdered by the bad guy because you were nice.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your note about friendship at the end. I honestly never thought to talk to her about it. You’re so right. Maybe she just doesn’t realize either that she’s doing it or that it’s something that’s a problem. I think until reading this book I actually thought the problem was me, and that I should be more flexible about saying “yes” more often even if I didn’t want to. Definite light bulb moment!
Dec 12, 2012 @ 16:34:10
Fascinating post, Marcy! Am not sure that I’ve really considered these more subtle elements for my characters. I suspect I’ve relied more on this being implied than done concretely. This is really helpful. Thank you.
Karen
Dec 12, 2012 @ 22:05:37
I’m glad it helped. I really like to try to add those touches that, as readers, we can pick up on even if it doesn’t all click until later 🙂
Dec 12, 2012 @ 21:56:38
What’s really amusing, or sad, about all of these traits is that every one of them has been exhibited by an ex-boss or co-worker in either my or my husband’s work over the years. I didn’t realize it until I read it here, but I do use traits from these people that I sense are, well, up to no good…as traits for my bad guys. And it’s everything you said, the false charm, the refusing to accept no, etc. The overwhelming sense of entitlement that seems to come with even a small amount of power. It does give me shivers!
Dec 12, 2012 @ 22:04:33
Your subconscious recognized it and was warning you even if you didn’t realize it at the time.
Dec 13, 2012 @ 10:13:56
Fantastic post!
Possibly due to many years spent in Public Relations I’ve run into tons of people that use all of the above tactics as easily as the rest of us breathe air.
Subtly and timing are two great keys that are applied alongside the other methods by the “master villain.” By subtly, I mean: Making the idea seem to originate from the target. “You alluded to X earlier (which they may not have but will be unsure of) and I think your idea to do Y (which is really not your idea), is a good plan. I’ll help with it.” Subtle projection of desire with an empty promise to force compliance.
Timing is catching the person at the right moment and is used in many of the cons floating around out there. One I ran into a couple years ago involved sending a small keepsake to the spouse or family of a deceased person along with a billing statement for an unusually high amount for the item being sent. An unsolicited package, mind you. The spouse/family would then feel obligated to pay and be too busy too investigate the packages origins or file a complaint if they did question it. The statistics I saw showed a high return on investment for the cons. Villains long for the unbalanced moments of others.
It is interesting that you mention how certain behaviors of societal norm become automatic for us – determine how each of those can be used against you, and you will know all the ways a villain will try to manipulate you.
Okay, I think that is the longest comment I’ve ever left. Told you – fantastic post. Thanks for sharing this with us, Marcy 🙂
Dec 13, 2012 @ 22:34:46
I rather enjoyed this post. Reminds me of the very very small time I spent in the door to door salesmen bit (oddly enough I couldn’t do it for moral reasons, which if you knew me at all would speak volumes about the door to door types…) Our training included each and every one of the points you made.
Beyond that, I ran into a kid the other night who was spanging. I’m not an overly sympathetic person to begin with, but I was actually starting to feel bad for him (not that I have any money to give at the moment) but red flags started popping up because of how llooonnnnnggggg his story went. It was past dark and I was walking with my daughter in the cold, so it actually got to the point I was upset with him. I wasn’t rude (least not purposely), but finally told him I needed to get her inside, turned, and walked away from him while he was midword. Next day I was telling my ex about it and she informed me there was an article on the front page of the paper about a kid asking for money, who’s story matched what the kid had told me, and how it was likely BS.
I believe you’re now the third or fourth blogger I follow who’s mentioned The Gift of Fear, Marcy. Seems like something I should pick up, not only for refernce, but to eventually give to my daughter.
Dec 14, 2012 @ 03:58:41
Hi Marcy,
I haven’t read, “Gift of Fear”, but perhaps I should. The points were subtle but bells were clanging, reminding me of “villains” I’ve encountered. Creepy.
Thanks,
Tracy
P.S. I agree with Emma, your friend may not realize what she’s doing.
Dec 26, 2012 @ 14:23:51
Great Marcy. I come across lots of these, to varying degrees, in everyday work interactions. These people aren’t evil, but it’s the fact that you can encounter these behaviors everyday that makes them even more unsettling.
Cheers!
Jan 10, 2013 @ 18:40:59
I have read Gift of Fear and regularly recommend it to my clients. The “not accepting your no” rule is huge. These rules hold true not just for strangers. If you are in a relationship where your partner uses these strategies, chances are it’s abusive.
Teach your children that No means No by respecting their own “no”‘s – e.g., don’t keep putting more food on their plate when they say they’ve had enough, don’t keep tickling when they say “stop”, etc. (obviously, I’m not talking about the kind of “no” that goes something like, “No, I don’t want to do my homework, so I won’t” – lol!