Have You Lost Your Taste for Adventure?
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
As The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey opens, Bilbo Baggins has no desire for adventure. The curious child he once was is gone, leaving only a hobbit who enjoys his food, and pipe, and comfortable home.
The wizard Gandalf and a pack of zealous dwarves invade his house and offer him the opportunity for riches and excitement, along with the risk of death and dismemberment, for which they, of course, won’t be held responsible.
“Can you promise that I will come back?” Bilbo asks Gandalf when Gandalf tries to convince him to help the dwarves take back their home from the dragon.
“No,” Gandalf replies. “And if you do, you will not be the same.”
The same is true of every adventure we take.
No, we won’t face fire-breathing dragons that will very likely incinerate us. We won’t face trolls who want to eat us. We won’t need to outrun orcs who want to cut off our heads.
But the real life adventures can be just as terrifying. Our emotional lives, our very selves, are at stake. And adventures, in fantasies and in real life, are never easy.
His first night on the road with the dwarves, Bilbo can’t sleep for their snoring. The rain drenches him, and he regrets coming. It would have been easy for him to turn back. In fact, Thorin (leader of the dwarves) frequently goads him to, telling him he never should have come.
If we’re brave enough to take an adventure this year, we’ve going to face tests to our resolve as well.
Marriage. Parenthood. Leaving an abusive relationship. A move across the country. A change in jobs. Launching our own business. All the things that are really worth doing. We put ourselves in danger of broken hearts, lost sleep, separation from family, financial tragedy, and humiliation.
Part way in, we’ll probably wish we could turn back. We’ll regret the adventure we’ve started. We’ll be afraid that we won’t make it, and that if we do, we won’t know the person we’ve become.
And if we only look at the risks, we probably will turn back. We need to look at the benefits instead.
Because Bilbo didn’t run away, the dwarves accepted him as one of them, and he, in turn, was ready to give his life for them. Any spouse or parent would do the same for their family. Friendship, loyalty, love, and courage are worth the risk.
Bilbo learned his own strengths, like his intelligence. In our safety zones, we don’t always know what our strengths are. Sometimes discovering them takes risk.
What’s more, like Bilbo, we’ll prove the people wrong who said we’d never make it. We’ll learn what we’re truly capable of.
What adventure have you taken in the past that you’re glad you took? What adventure are you going to take this year?
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Related Posts:
Do You Believe in Second Chances? What Frodo and Gollum Can Teach Us About Forgiveness
What Lord of the Rings Character Are You?
Beorn’s Honey Cake
Jan 07, 2013 @ 12:23:51
You are completely right on with this post! All of the adventures we have change us. My biggest adventure this past year was to quit my job and move across the country with no new job to go to. I definitely learned a lot and changed as a person. I didn’t make it to where I originally set out to go, but now I am happier than I could have imagined being anywhere else. Now, when I think back to my road trip that wasn’t so long ago, I still can’t believe I did it myself. I guess I am a lot braver than I realize, even now. And now I’m excited about the next adventure. 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 14:12:21
You could be the poster girl for adventures after last year. Imagine what you’d have missed out on if you allowed people to talk you out of going!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 13:50:04
For me, the real adventure is finding joy in the journey, whatever road I’ve taken. By necessity, the last couple of years haven’t been all that exciting. My days were focused on providing care for elderly family members. During that period, I lost my favorite aunt and my beloved father. Thankfully, my mom is still here and I’ll continue to devote time to her, but in the midst of juggling multiple crises I almost forgot how to live my own life. This year, I just want to rediscover what makes me tick.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 14:09:32
Jane, that sounds like a wonderful goal. As someone who has four grandparents in their 80s, I know how difficult it can be to juggle your own life with caring for them. There are things no one understands about caring for elderly loved ones until they’ve been there.
That said, I think in a way that’s an adventure in itself. You’re forced to face your own mortality, and I’m sure you’ve learned new things about mercy and patience.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 14:50:56
What a great post. There have been times when I’ve taken an adventure that I wasn’t sure would work out. Moving to SC was one, and that definitely worked out! I’m so glad I did it, even if I was terrified at the time.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 15:03:52
My biggest adventure to date has probably been my long distance relationship with my husband. That could have gone wrong in so many ways, but instead we ended up married and living in the same country, in the same house. I’m so thankful I wasn’t too frightened to take the adventure 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 18:59:56
That sounds like a pretty good adventure!
Jan 08, 2013 @ 15:24:49
I like to think so 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 15:09:46
Sometimes life throws us a curve, or three at the same time, that means we have no choice but to lose the fear of failure and carry on.
Unkind words or actions bite marrow deep, especially if they’ve come from a loved one. The key is not to take responsibility for someone else’s behaviour.
Having said that, it tends to fall to women to do the nurturing and the caring and the risk is that we don’t take care of ourselves. We burnout, don’t take enough rest and expect too much of our capacity to cope. It’s too easy to lose our sense of self, to become demoralised and depressed and then we’re no good to anyone. So looking after ‘us’ is not being selfish, it’s the exact opposite, which means asking others to help and to work as a team.
Great post, Marcy!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:48:24
So true! I reached the end of last year burnt out worse than I’d ever been before. I’m still not fully recovered, but I am coming into the new year with a renewed excitement for what might be ahead. That’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time, and it feels great!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 15:35:12
This year – I’m going to publish my fiction. That’s an epic adventure years in the making. Nothing’s going to stop me 😀 You with me?
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:45:39
You know I am. I’m tired of our Amazon book sitting on our computers rather than meeting the world. Here’s hoping our current plan is a success. If not, we’ll make a new plan 😉
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:47:52
Go for it, girls!!!
Jan 08, 2013 @ 00:44:41
>>If not, we’ll make a new plan.
That’s the way! I’m still making new plans. 🙂 Good luck with yours!
Jan 08, 2013 @ 15:25:16
Thanks ladies!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 15:55:24
Seems we were thinking along the same lines today, Marcy! I love it! And I loved this film. It is a year of adventures I think. I might be moving to a new town for a job in a few months so that seems scary and exciting as I take a mental note of everything to pack, etc. And I’m hoping to make changes to the blog and get lots more writing done. But learning years, though tough at times, are always the best years because they show us what we are truly capable of, no?
Here’s to going on more adventures!
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:58:39
I agree. We might not always enjoy every aspect of the challenges and adventures we face, but when they’re over, we kind of miss them. They teach us more than we can learn in the calm times, and they give us great stories to tell 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:40:10
What a great blog post to start out the new year. Reminds me of Lousie Plummer’s essay, “Fear, I embrace you.”
Jan 07, 2013 @ 16:49:02
I’m going to have to get my hands on that essay. Thanks for the recommendation 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 17:05:29
Marcy, it was collected into a book of essays called Thoughts on a Grasshopper. I blogged about it here:
http://www.paulinebjones.com/BlogWP/dancing-with-fear
I think you’d like. 🙂
Jan 07, 2013 @ 17:24:56
“In our safety zones, we don’t always know what our strengths are. Sometimes discovering them takes risk.” >> I’ve found this to be true so many times. Another great post, Marcy!
Jan 08, 2013 @ 16:12:09
Thanks, Karen. Remembering always helps me through the tougher spots in life.
Jan 07, 2013 @ 21:58:16
One of the biggest adventures of my life was moving from New Mexico to Syracuse, NY to attend graduate school. Talk about a culture shock! I didn’t know anyone, had never traveled that far alone, had no job, nothing. In the end I gained a master’s degree, a husband, and friends I’d never have known otherwise. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I’d just gone to University of Texas instead. Probably not nearly as interesting!
Funny, at the time it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, but looking back I can see what my parents saw…how crazy it was to just up and leave everything I knew to venture into the wide unknown so far away from home. I wouldn’t change a thing 🙂
This year…my big adventure will be to try to publish at least two more novels, if not three.
Jan 08, 2013 @ 16:13:08
Other people are sometimes better able to see just how crazy our plans our, but maybe that’s for the best. If we realized it, we might back down when we should push forward.
Sounds like your adventure had a very happy ending!
Jan 08, 2013 @ 00:46:52
My adventure last year was writing things I didn’t think I could write: a short story connected to my series (those books are long!), and a YA novel with no speculative elements for NaNoWriMo (which I won!). Don’t know yet what this year’s adventures will bring, but I’m hoping to bump up my publishing schedule and do more comfort-zone-stretching work!
Jan 09, 2013 @ 01:45:09
Congrats on winning NaNo! Those comfort zones are terrifying to stretch, but after we’ve done it, we’re better able to decide whether we were better off the way we were or if the stretched way is better. Much better to be able to make that decision with all the information.
Jan 08, 2013 @ 03:17:09
Fantastic post, Marcy! Challenges whether personally chosen or forced upon us by events out of our control are all adventures that teach us where our strengths are. Best of luck with your adventures in publishing!
Jan 09, 2013 @ 01:47:52
Thanks, Lynette 🙂
Jan 08, 2013 @ 18:14:34
The adventure builds are character. The choices we make along the way defines us. It can build us up or break us down. It is up to us to decide. Go out there and claim your future ladies! Make 2013 one amazing adventure. 😀
Jan 09, 2013 @ 01:41:56
It is up to us to decide. We can blame our circumstances, or we can see the good that even hard times bring and build from there. I hope you’re able to make 2013 an amazing adventure as well!
Jan 09, 2013 @ 01:11:10
I always love your “life lessons from movies” posts! Thanks, Marcy…did you have a good break?
Jan 09, 2013 @ 01:39:31
My blogging break was lovely. Thanks, Jenny 🙂 I do wish I’d had more overall time off though. I’m planning a staycation later this year. Just me and a bunch of good books 🙂
Jan 09, 2013 @ 05:28:15
Oh, this is such a wonderfully inspiring post, Marcy! My adventure in the past year consisted of moving from Santa Barbara, where I was attending grad school, back to my parents’ house in San Francisco so I can work on my dissertation research. It’s a strange thing, thinking about a homecoming as an adventure, but so far it has been. I’ve had the chance to confront some old demons and move past them, which is helping my personal growth a great deal.
Hope you enjoyed the holidays!