Five Words That Weaken Your Writing
Image Credit: Andrzej Pobiedziski (freeimage.com)
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
Last week, I released my newest Busy Writer’s Guide, Grammar for Fiction Writers
Weak words are words that don’t pull their own weight in a sentence. Most of the time, they’re useless. So useless, in fact, that, by taking them out, you make the sentence stronger.
At first this might seem like a strange chapter to include in a grammar book. Technically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with weak words. But this is a book on grammar for fiction writers, and so one of the things we have to look at in terms of grammar is tightening up our writing and bringing it to life by removing useless words from our sentences.
Both weasel words and helping and state-of-being verbs could have been included under unspecific words because of how they tend to tell rather than show, but I broke them up because of the slight differences between them. In this section, I want to focus on five words that are weak specifically because of how vague and generic they are.
Got/Get
Get (and its forms) isn’t always wrong, but you want to be careful because it can lead to confusion. It means “to receive,” “to take possession,” or “to obtain.” However, some people also use it in place of have.
Let me show you how this becomes a problem.
I got five dollars.
Does this mean “I have five dollars,” as in “I currently possess five dollars”? Or does it mean “someone gave me five dollars”?
To avoid vagueness like this, you should rewrite your sentence.
Grandpa gave me five dollars.
I have only five dollars to my name right now.
As you go through your writing, don’t assume that your got sentences are clear. Make sure they are.
Things
Like got, things isn’t wrong, but we often use it as the lazy way to escape putting in the work to define what we mean by things. Things could stand in for problems or reasons, which are two very different things.
When your character says, “I have things to do,” what does she mean? Does she mean she has errands to run? A house to clean? A doctor’s appointment? The only time you should have a character saying they have “things to do” is if they’re being intentionally vague, such as if they don’t want their girlfriend to know that they’re planning a surprise proposal. But even then, why not have them give a more specific excuse?
Moved/Took/Looked
How many times have you written something like this?
He moved across the room.
Grammatically, there’s nothing wrong with this sentence. The problem comes from its vagueness. It doesn’t give the reader a clear picture of the way your character is moving.
Look at these three possible types of movement.
He shuffled across the room.
He stalked across the room.
He sauntered across the room.
In each sentence, we have him moving across the room, but they’re extremely different types of movement. Don’t leave your reader guessing.
Both took and looked fall into the same category as moved.
She took the letter from him.
This doesn’t show us what’s happening.
She snatched the letter from him.
She delicately plucked the letter from him using only her thumb and forefinger, as if she were afraid contact with it would contaminate her.
Two different emotions are behind those ways of taking the letter.
Here’s the one I see most often in my editing work.
She looked at him.
But how did she look at him? Was it a furtive glance from the corner of her eyes as if she didn’t want to be caught? Was she glaring? Was she giving him an I-dare-you-to-try-it look?
None of these unspecific words are technically wrong, but you’re shortchanging your reader and yourself.
For more of Grammar for Fiction Writers
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Sep 04, 2014 @ 13:13:07
These are examples of where an author can go on a “search-and-kill” mission with her word processor. This should be done as part of copy editing, especially if she’s doing her own. Even if the author employs an editor (another person)–in my case, a beta-reader–such things should be done before sending the MS to that person. Saves $$$. I have a whole list of things like this to look for. While “in the zone” of writing, especially action scenes, my quirks seem to percolate up like the lava in that Icelandic volcano–nasty stuff that does my story harm. Other authors should know their own quirks and look for them. As a reviewer, I can usually tell when they haven’t looked even once….
Sep 04, 2014 @ 13:20:36
Indeed. I strongly recommend searching for these as part of a self-edit. They’re easy for us to miss, especially if they happen to be one of the words we default to when we’re writing quickly.
Sep 07, 2014 @ 19:29:23
What does your personal list of words to review while on an editing rampage look like Steven. It might help me. Who am I kidding. It will certainly help me.
Sep 02, 2015 @ 15:23:26
Hi Tammy,
Oooooh, there are so many! I tend to overuse “the,” “that,” “a(n),” “then,” and other connectors (or words that shouldn’t be connectors). My last search-and-destroy mission in copy editing is to search for “the” and “that” and remove when redundant, which they are in many cases. Curiously enough, psychologists have determined female writers don’t have many problems with this over-usage as male writers. 🙂
Here’s some more: however, in addition, moreover, thus, rather, even, sneer, jeer, anyway, stuff, thing, and probably. Watch the cliches: thick as thieves, if only walls could talk, slow as a snail, blind as a bat, and quick like a bunny are examples pulled from my check lists. People include cliches in dialogue, of course, some more than others, so they can appear there if appropriate.
My list of quirks is very particular to my writing. You should make your own. You should carefully edit an MS one time very carefully and jot down what you find…and then keep adding to it with every MS. Whether traditionally published or indie, you should always send a polished MS to beta-readers and then on to agents and publishers for the first case. If you’re an indie, that makes the formatting easier too, but always proofread the final product before releasing your masterpiece.
r/Steve
PS. Many writers websites have lists like these, and other ideas for improving your MS. This is one of the good ones, of course. I also have several posts on writing in the “Writing” category in my blog. One that’s had some resonance is “The Eightfold Way,” eight things NOT to do when writing a novel.
Sep 05, 2014 @ 15:03:14
Yay! More words to add to a search-and-destroy macro. 😉
Great examples too, Marcy. Thanks for sharing!
Sep 15, 2014 @ 01:40:16
Thank you, Marcy for this article. What would be your suggestion if I already used a more precise verbs like dashed, raced and so on and there is still more action (movement) needs to be described, would it be ok, to use words like: walked or ran?
Sep 18, 2014 @ 02:22:04
Definitely! There’s nothing wrong with using walked or ran occasionally. The key is to pick the best word for that particular instance, taking into account the context and making sure you don’t overuse any word.
Oct 15, 2014 @ 12:14:26
When I see lists like this, I end up yelling at my computer, “Add the word ‘got’!”
What a deadly meaningless word.
Thank you for starting with it.
Also, I love Jami’s search and destroy macro.
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