Do You Believe in Second Chances?
By Marcy Kennedy (@MarcyKennedy)
Long after I finished reading the books and watching the movies, the character from the Lord of the Rings trilogy I couldn’t stop thinking about wasn’t any of the plucky hobbits, Viggo Mortensen’s ruggedly handsome Aragorn, or Gandolf with his words of wisdom.
It was Gollum.
Born a hobbit-like creature named Sméagol, Gollum wasn’t always the shriveled, conniving wretch we meet in Lord of the Rings. It wasn’t until Sméagol was in his thirties that Sméagol’s friend Déagol found the powerful ring that Frodo and the Fellowship of the Ring would later seek to destroy. Overcome by lust for the ring, Sméagol killed Déagol and took it for himself.
The ring prolonged Sméagol’s life, but began to corrupt him until his family finally cast him out. From that point on, he lived alone in the dark caves of the Misty Mountains, eating raw fish. Déagol’s death haunted him.
When Frodo learned about Gollum, he said, “What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!” (Fellowship of the Ring, pg. 78).
“Pity!” Gandalf answered. “It was Pity that stayed his hand.”
Gandalf believed that everyone deserves a second chance—a chance at redemption. He went on to tell Frodo that even Gollum wasn’t wholly ruined: “I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it…My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many” (79).
Gandalf’s words stuck with Frodo.
Later, when Frodo showed him kindness, the Sméagol side of Gollum’s personality found the strength to fight against the Gollum side. What good was left in him tried to drive out the evil. Frodo’s kindness gave him a second chance.
Sam couldn’t see it. He couldn’t see past the disgusting parts of Gollum to take into account what he’d been through—isolation, torture in Mordor, the clutches of a ring that ruined all who carried it. He refused to try to see what Gollum might become if given a second chance.
When I first met Lynn* in elementary school, all I saw was a girl who disliked me for no reason. She seemed to take pleasure in embarrassing me in particular, and it seemed to me, in my ten-year-old wisdom, that she thought she was better than the other students. I found her annoying and wanted nothing to do with her.
When I should have been Frodo, I was Sam.
I didn’t bother to find out her true story, her past and her struggles.
When she disappeared in high school, I didn’t even notice. I cared as little for her as Sam did for Gollum and would have gladly left her behind in my past. When she came back during our senior year, she wanted to be my friend.
Second chances are tricky things. You could get your finger bitten off the way Frodo eventually did. Every second chance comes with another opportunity to experience the pain you did the first time.
I was hesitant, skeptical. But, to borrow from Gandalf, my heart told me that she might still have a role to play in my life.
Years later, we stood up in each other’s weddings. We joke now about back when we didn’t like each other and talk about who disliked whom most. And we laugh.
But if I hadn’t given her a second chance, I would have missed the trips we’ve taken, times we’ve cried on each other’s shoulders, good advice exchanged, secrets shared (and kept). I would have missed out on knowing a woman who’s now one of my dearest friends and who I admire for her strength, her grace, and her faith.
For me, the chance to get exactly what I did was worth the risk of giving her that second chance.
Has there ever been a time you decided to give someone a second chance and were glad you did? Do you believe in second chances?
*Lynn isn’t her real name. I’ve changed it to protect her privacy.
*Thanks for reading this blast from the past while I recover from my trip. Even though this post is a re-run, I’d still love it if you’d leave a comment.
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Jun 16, 2015 @ 17:15:37
I most certainly do believe in second chances. Do you remember the Good Friday storey about the thief
on the cross who recognized Jesus for who he was, the son of God? Jesus told him “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Not so, with the other thief who didn’t humble himself. Jesus gave second chances to all kinds of outcasts of society. The woman at the well, lepers, demon possessed and many others. I was one of them and it changed my life completely. So who am I to not give a second change to a fellow human being?
Enjoyng your blogs,
Linda Lewis
Jun 22, 2015 @ 13:30:27
Beautiful points, Linda. One of the things I love and admire so much about Christ is how he gave second chances to everyone–not just to those society deemed worthy. We all need redemption and second chances for things we’ve done.
Jun 16, 2015 @ 19:17:26
Great post, Marcy. Gollum is an often overlooked character in LOTR, but his part of the story is important nonetheless. And it’s great that you were able to overcome a rough start with your friend and develop a lasting friendship!
Jun 17, 2015 @ 01:40:58
Thanks! I am so grateful that she and I were both able to forgive and move forward. I hate to think about how my life would be without her.
Jun 16, 2015 @ 19:32:45
LOVELY, Marcy! Thanks for giving us all a glimpse into a cherished memory!
As for second chances, every single friend of mine from high school taught me the value ofsecond chances. I was a – for want of a better word – ‘bitch’ in high school, or rather an ice maiden. Thoroughly obsessed with coming first in class, I never took the time to understand anyone!
I had only one best friend – who, by the way, taught me the value of second chances in Grade 9 – and we are still friends only because of her magnanimity. She taught me to forgive and move forward #HUGSS
Anyway, when I was struggling with Anorexia, each one of those snubbed classmates reached out via social media…today, I am proud of their grace, their successes, their happiness <3
MUCH love
Kitto
Jun 17, 2015 @ 01:38:43
One of the reasons I believe so strongly in second chances is stories like yours. Another is that I know the times I didn’t deserve a second chance and was given one. How can I not extend a second chance when I know how many times undeserved grace and forgiveness were extended to me?
Obviously, we have to be wise as well. For example, we shouldn’t allow abusers to keep abusing us if we’re in that kind of situation. But in most cases, people deserve a chance to redeem themselves.
Jun 17, 2015 @ 15:21:34
Great post! Frodo giving Gollum that second chance was definitely risky and even cost him a finger, but it also is the reason his quest to destroy the ring succeeded. If he had been like Sam and killed Gollum instead of giving him a second chance, the quest would have failed and Sauron would have won.
I love that you found a way to tie this into your own personal experience as well. I’ve made the snap judgment about others and not given them a second chance, and here I am years later regretting it. I hope I can be more like Frodo in the years to come.
Jun 22, 2015 @ 13:26:42
Thanks! I think the key to regrets is to use them as teaching tools so that we don’t do the same things again. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway because otherwise regrets can eat us alive 🙂
Jun 22, 2015 @ 19:40:21
Excellent point. Some regrets are harder to grapple with than others, but in the end, all our mistakes are lessons, as long as we are paying attention.